Tuesday, April 27, 2010

I Survived Boobquake 2010!

Much to the chagrin of the Iranians, the world did not collapse into itself yesterday when likely thousands (and perhaps millions, I have no idea) of women ascended their cleavage onto unsuspecting young men.

If you haven't heard how this all got started, you can read all about it here. It started as a boob joke by a blogger, Jen McCreight, a student at Purdue, making fun of this:

"Many women who do not dress modestly ... lead young men astray, corrupt their chastity and spread adultery in society, which (consequently) increases earthquakes," Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi was quoted as saying by Iranian media. Sedighi is Tehran's acting Friday prayer leader.

According to the results of Boobquake, our provocative experiment yielded no more earthquakes around the world than normal. See official results here.

We participated in Boobquake at Lee Harvey's during Dollar Taco Day (one of my favorite days of the week). As you can see, Tisha and I did our part to ensure that all young men around the world were duly corrupted by our breasts. In turn, the young men were much appreciative.

Thursday, April 1, 2010

The Census Bureau is out to get you!

Glen Beck irritates the ever-loving shit out of me, and for good reason…he incites fear and paranoia into every word that comes out of his mouth. Even his chubby cheeks irritate me. This clip only further solidifies my “Are you friggin’ kidding me?” opinion of ‘ol GB. This clip is an interview of our favorite wingnut-fundie-but-not-as-hot-as-Sarah-Palin Congresswoman Michelle Bachmann (R-MN) about why she’s not filling out this year’s census. You go, Michelle! You show that Census Bureau, and therefore the White House, who’s boss! You’re such a rebel! I have goosebumps.

What right does the government have to know how many people live in your house?! Oh wait, why is that a secret? Hmmm. But, how dare they ask for your phone number! Well, uhm, I think it’s probably listed, isn’t it? They could always just call your telephone company. By the way, you can thank yourself and the Patriot Act for which you voted (and renewed with no reforms in February) for that piece of your liberty. And, I’m pretty sure the government has an FBI file on you, Michelle. Hell, the saleswoman at Macy’s asks for my phone number every time I buy a pair of shoes. Ack, it’s a conspiracy! Such intrusion!

I just can’t believe the government needs to know the population so they can accurately disperse $300 billion in government funds! That is so retarded! And..and…and…and…WHY doesn’t the census ask if we’re American citizens?? We could count all the illegal aliens if the Census Bureau would’ve just asked the right questions! Do you know how easy it would be to kick them out if we knew where to find them? Oh wait, is it ok with you if we ask for their phone number??

Michelle Bachmann, you're a damn genius.