This Entry Deserves No Title

I swear, after re-reading a few entries from the past year or so, it appears as though I only use this blog to update my "readers" about the goings-on of my life. That's boring. Besides, those of you that know me know what's going on anyway. Anyone else is someone I don't know and they've probably stopped reading anyway for lack of substance.

But, to get everyone up to speed... Uh hem...I finally found a great job the beginning of this month doing what I love. This time, it's not at a law firm, but an asset management company. You'd think being a paralegal I would be able to find something fairly quickly after I got laid off...not so. I was unemployed for a total of 5 months. Of course, if I wouldn't have had a job in the spring/summer, it would've been pretty rad. But, I had to be unemployed in the dead of friggin winter (and the coldest too). Also, I bought a new (like super new) car a few weeks ago and went to Vegas with my favorite man.

We are currently booking our calendar for spring/summer. Yay!

Bloggy Mistreatment

My blog has literally fallen off into the abyss of the forgotten. I have a private forum (i.e., a journal) in which I write down inner-most thoughts that should never be published because there are few strangers that probably read this blog. Anyway, I think recently I've drawn a bit of a blank about what I think may be interesting writing. I'm simply not inspired. Having been unemployed going on my fifth month (*cringe*), I've been in a literary black hole. I haven't really been wasting my time off, per se, but I don't think I've made the most of it. Namely because, after my car accident, I elected not to purchase another car until all the insurance nonsense had been cleared up. Good thing, because shortly thereafter, I was laid off. Thank Jebus for a little foresight and public transportation. I know this all sounds incredibly depressing, but I'm actually very happy. We have our finances down to something so ridiculous you'd think we were living Section 8 large. But, no, we have a great loft downtown and are more than comfortable. I'm not sure what I'll do with all the excess Benjamen's when I get a normal paycheck instead of my government cheese. I'm pretty sure a new pair of shoes will be in order. Duh.

Fortunately, classes started again a few weeks ago, so at least I have something to stimulate my brain. And, many thanks to Beckbee for selling me one of her bikes. She's a great little addition to the family and occassionally keeps me from eating out of boredom! She will be well-used this Spring.

In other news, Vegas is just a few weeks away (see, I can even go on vacation!) and I've been assured that my appetite for memorexing will be duly satisfied. Unfortunately, due to lack of funds on all sides, the big trip we were planning for August has been scrapped. We'll do something not so ambitious, but have an awesome time, nonetheless. We always do.

I'm Baaaa-aaaack!

I'm sure many of you thought I fell off the blogosphere. Well, I did for a while. You see, I've been preoccupied with my new-found unemployment. Because of the current economic climate, I was laid off from my job at the beginning of October. Working in real estate law when the real estate market is still in a decline is tricky, at best. Unfortunately, I had the least seniority so I was the one sacraficed. Such is life.

For the first couple of weeks I found myself in a slump of sorts. I slept until almost 9-10am and didn't get out that much. I started cooking meals from scratch and tried my hand at painting. I'm a good cook and a bad painter. The three pieces I turned out looked like a fifth grader did them. I'm not sure if it's my lack of creativity or inspiration. I searched for jobs for hours, and rarely did I find any I was interested in, or I was either under- or over-qualified. Plus, the added stress of not having a car made it difficult to look for anything outside the loop. Not that I want to commute to work, I was very spoiled. I had the perfect setup of not needing a car when I worked, lived and schooled within a 3-block radius. Something will come up. I've got my finances in good shape...no real worries so far.

I turned 30 about 2 weeks ago and I'm still waiting for someone to ask me how old I am and give me the blank stare like they can't believe how young I look. Hehe. I've never actually said, "I'm 30." I don't know how it will make me feel, but I'm looking forward to my 30's. I'm still young enough to have a good time and old enough to not make stupid decisions. 30 sounds good to me.

Since I have so much time on my hands, my grades are excellent. And, with three weeks of class left, I'm confident I'll pull a 4.0 for the semester. Next semester I may pick it up a little and take 9 hours. We'll see.

Oh yeah, my boyfriend has been amazingly supportive throughout this ordeal. He rocks my face off.

Mid-Week Mind Wander #6

View from the living room of our new loft.

Have you ever arrived at a point in your life where you have nothing to complain about?

We have arrived...

Mid-Week Mind Wander #5

Why is that trees, grass, general foliage, etc., hate me from September until whenever everything green dies? An upside to living among so much pavement and glass is that I don't have to deal with such an assault on my immune system. However, I have to say it's much tamer in Texas than it was in Northwest Arkansas. Look at all those trees!

Old Main at the University of Arkansas

It really is a very beautiful place to live and I do miss it from time-to-time (especially all my people), but damnit those trees attacked me as soon as they started turning colors. And, right a the beginning of football season! LAME. Good thing I don't have a car because I can't see anything through these watery eyes. I look liked I've just smoked a bowl.

Ah-choo!

Divin' on a Thursday Night

Since moving to Texas from Arkansas a little over a year ago, I've found it challenging to find girls to hang out with that aren't full of drama and nonsense. Over the past few months, I've befriended several very awesome chicks. Last night, one of those cool cats and I (and a good friend of hers, whom I think is the bee's knees too) went out to Café Brazil for some eats and then down the block to July Alley, a rad dive bar in the heart of Deep Ellum. We discovered they had a rockabilly band playing that night. (I heart rockabilly big time.) No cover, which is kind of sweet for us but not so much for the bands. But hell, it's Deep Ellum and whatever it takes to revive it. I hope they got free beer. We left before they played, but we're old and I was tired (Dave and I were in bed by 10:30...no lie), plus we'd stayed out late hashing the evening before.

I have a special place in my heart for July Alley. Dave and I went there on our second date while we were waiting for Elm Street Tattoo to open so I could get inked again. Plus, it has $2.25 Ziegenbock...on tap. We live downtown, so it's just over a mile to this jewel. We should take the bus down there more often. It's a great little place with an eclectic mix of people to watch and talk to...I dig it and my new-found divas.

Move! You're blocking my close-up!

Leslie says hi to Dave

It's so simple...

Lately, I've been a little concerned, and frankly irritated, about some drama surrounding (but not directly including) me. I had a detailed blog written about compassion, kindness and judgment; something to help cleanse me of my agitation and to aid me in my quest to stop judging others so harshly myself. I deleted it as soon as I came across this...

"This is my simple religion. There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; the philosophy is kindness." -His Holiness the Dalai Lama

I am not a religious person and I guess you could put me into the category of agnostic. However, this message touched me. It's something I needed to remind me of my own life philosophy that has been my constant for a long time and that is, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." It's a very simple, near childlike point of view, but it's effective and I'm a much happier, more fulfilled person as a result of following it.

Sometimes the simplest solutions are the most profound.

Mid-Week Mind Wander #4

Why, in a senior-level college course, does the professor take 2 hours to go over the 7-page syllabus?

I hope all of us can, in fact, read and follow instructions properly by this point. Is it necessary to hold our hands and explain every facet of your policies and curriculum? I could've actually learned quite a lot in that 2-hour waste of time.

GO.

Updates Abound: A List

I have many (a few) updates. I will convey them in the most efficient and Type A way I know, a list (you all know how much I love lists):

1. I am still afoot. And, even though I heart not having a car, I know I must procure one at some point in the very near future. Mind you, my GAP insurance company is still "processing" my claim. My accident was over two months ago; get off the pot SafeGuard. When it's finally wrapped up in the next week or two and my auto loan is paid off completely, I will diligently start looking. My dad and uncle have been scouring car auctions in Texarkana, but there is very little to be had. I'm very anti-car payment because of the minimal amount of driving I have to do. I work, live and school within a 4-block radius. It's rad. But, I can't find anything I can pay cash for that isn't junk. I don't have that much cash to throw at it. Financing appears to be a must. Bleh. Even though I do enjoy having such a fine-looking chauffeur, I want to go shoe shopping.

2. Saturday is moving day, of sorts. I'm about 99% finished packing, just some crystal left in the kitchen to bubble wrap and a few other things. It will be tight for a couple of weeks before the new place is ready, but will be worth it. Literally, half of the new space is floor-to-ceiling windows and a truly amazing view of downtown. This will be a remarkable and wonderful adventure for us both. A stock the bar party will ensue probably sometime in October. Write that down. (Side note: The Dallas Public Library (8 stories of literary orgasm) is about 3 blocks from the new loft.)

3. Yesterday was my first day of class. I'm in love with school all over again. This is going to be a bad ass program and I feel like I'm going to do really well. I've been in the legal industry for 8 years, and that will only help me along. As luck would have it, it's the only ABA approved program in DFW and it's 3 blocks from my office and new loft. Word. It's retarded cheap, so I'm able to pay cash for everything, including books. Hello, tax write off. 30 hours to go.

4. My knee is still giving me trouble. I twisted it about a month ago on a hash trail when I tumbled down a hill. The hill won. I didn't take care of it properly for the first week because it didn't feel injured after a day or two, and it's just gotten steadily worse ever since. After sitting in class for 2 hours last night, sans brace, I was walking to the train and a horrible hot-needle pain was assaulting my calf. I made it home, barely, and collapsed on the bed. I couldn't help but cry. It hurt. Dave put some ice on it, poured me a Stella and nuked the pizza he'd saved for me for dinner. All better. (Side note: My attempt at running, not walking, the Oktoberfest 5K in September and Race for the Cure 5K in October may be compromised. Sad face.)

5. Football season is upon us. Yes! Dave and I are going to the Arkansas v. A&M game at the new Cowboy Stadium in October. One of my dearest and her husband will also be coming down from Arkansas for the big game. It will be a highlight of this football season, for sure, and probably the only Arkansas game I'm going to be able to attend. Unfortunately, he and I had a deal that whomever secured tickets to this game first got to decide which side we were to be seated. Guess who got the tickets first? Yeah, not me. Guess where we're sitting? Yeah, not on my side. However, I will still be decked out in my Razorback garb whilst sitting among throngs of A&M fans. Please, please let us not suck. Please.

6. I'll be 30 in a couple months. We'll talk about that later.

Embodiment

Incredibly random memorexing...

Camping...just the two of us.

NYE 2005

We like(d) to dance on top of bars (same bar...)

Very old school (same bar, some years earlier...)

My sister and I on her birthday...we'd had a bit of hookah

Best vacation EVAR...I heart Mexico.

At the races...I won $60! Mama got a new pair of shoes!

Sister's birthday at the hookah bar

I'm from the country, what?

Invasion of Arkansas in DFW

At a Renaissance Festival wedding

Its Gotta Be Your Bull

This piece was retrieved from The Huffington Post. I couldn't resist reposting it here, lest anyone might miss it. Enjoy.


"Sarah Palin's Most Cringe-Worthy Moments: You Choose The Worst"
The Huffington Post
July 15, 2009
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/07/13/sarah-palins-most-cringe_n_230502.html

With Sarah Palin's resignation still ringing in our ears, we thought we'd take you back through a few of her most cringe-worthy moments of the past few years...

Sarah Doesn't Know What a VP Does
On July 31, 2008 Larry Kudlow interviewed Sarah Palin about a probe into an alleged scandal and asked her if she was interested in becoming John McCain's running mate. She replied: "But as for that VP talk all the time, I’ll tell you, I still can’t answer that question until somebody answers for me what is it exactly that the VP does everyday?"

Sarah Can't Name Any Newspapers Or Magazines She Reads
On September 29, 2008 CBS aired one of the many parts of an interview Katie Couric did with Sarah Palin. In this particular installment, Couric asked "what newspapers and magazines did [she] regularly read..." and Palin responded by saying: "I've read most of them, again with a great appreciation for the press, for the media." Couric pushed further asking "what ones specifically?" and Pain said, "Umm... all of them. Any of them that have been in front of me over all these years."

Sarah Can't Name Any SCOTUS Cases Besides Roe V. Wade
It only got worse for Palin from there. A couple days later Couric showed another segment of the interview in which she asked which decision, other than Roe V. Wade, Palin disagreed with. Sarah responded: "Well, let's see. There's --of course --in the great history of America rulings there have been rulings, there's never going to be absolute consensus by every American. And there are -- those issues, again, like Roe v Wade where I believe are best held on a state level and addressed there. So you know -- going through the history of America, there would be others but--"

Sarah Winks Her Way Through The VP Debate
On October 2, 2008 Palin faced off against Joe Biden in their first (and only) VP debate. She said several hilarious things, but her winking is what most of us still remember and what gave Rich Lowry of the National Review "little starburts," most likely in his pants.

Sarah Gets Booed At A Hockey Game
On October 11, 2008 Sarah "I'm a hockey mom" Palin appeared at a Flyers game to drop the ceremonial first puck and was greeted by resounding "boos" from the crowd.

Sarah Still Doesn't Know What A VP Does
On October 20, 2008 Sarah was interviewed by an NBC affiliate in Colorado, which passed on a question from a local third grader who wanted to know about what the Vice President does. Palin answered: "[T]hey’re in charge of the U.S. Senate so if they want to they can really get in there with the senators and make a lot of good policy changes that will make life better for Brandon and his family and his classroom." Which is blatantly untrue.

Sarah Falls For A Prank Call From "Nicolas Sarkozy"
On November 1, 2008 Palin unwittingly took a call from a Canadian comedian posing as the French president. The fake Sarkozy suggested the pair go hunting together saying, "I just love killing those animals. Mmm, mmm, take away life, that is so fun." She responded, saying, "Well, I think we could have a lot of fun together while we're getting work done. We can kill two birds with one stone that way." The comedian went on to say his wife is "so hot in bed" and tell Palin that Bruni has written a song for her called "Du rouge a levres sur une cochonne" aka "Lipstick on a Pig."

Sarah Thinks Afghanistan Is Next Door To U.S.
On October 5, 2008 Sarah Palin called Afghanistan “our neighboring country” during a speech to U.S. soldiers who must have thought, "This is what we're fighting for?"

Sarah Claims New Hampshire Is Part Of The "Great Northwest"
On October 15, 2008 Palin gave a speech in the Granite state and said, "I like being here," she told the crowd in Laconia, "because it seems like here and in our last rally too -- other parts around this great Northwest -- here in New Hampshire you just get it." The crowd was understandably confused.

Sarah Gives McCain/Palin Stump Speech After Election Is Over
On November 13, 2008 Palin gave a speech that Jonathan Martin called "perplexing" and "jarring," because it was basically an old stump speech she gave a million times before she lost the election. Jonathan Capehart told MSNBC's David Shuster, "I watched her entire speech, and I had to remind myself that the election was a week ago, and this was not a McCain/Palin rally. Everything you heard at a McCain/Palin rally since she was selected as the Vice Presidential nominee since September, and even down to the same rhetoric was in that speech."

Sarah's Resignation Speech Is The Most Confusing Of Her Career
On July 3, 2009 Sarah Palin announced that she would resign from the office of the governor, giving some a sigh of relief and late-night comedians a heart-attack. The speech was a little crazy: There was something about a fish and sports and a lot about politics and not quitting but then quitting. It was more confusing than when she explained politics to that 3rd grader.

Sarah Says "Department Of Law" Protects The President
When Palin resigned she said that fighting unjust ethics complaints was immobilizing her. "I'm not going to let Alaskans go through a year of stymied, paralyzed administration and not getting anything done," she said. Someone asked how she would run the country if these accusations could stop her from running the state and Palin responded that the "department of law" protects the president. There's no such thing in the White House.

Mid-Week Mind Wander #3

My mind is full of haziness due to the fabulous pain killers the doctor gave me after my car accident on Monday. My mind is wandering to all kinds of far off places. One such wandering consisted of Harx, a 4-year old boy named Conner (not my nephew), Conner's summer-time cold, and his pediatrician. Don't ask...I have no idea. It was very strange indeed. That's the latest drug-induced dream that is the result of the dude that ran the redlight, evidenced below. It may be time to trade. Seriously, the DART is looking better and better. It's dangerous business driving around in this city. Crazy bastards.

Mid-Week Mind Wander #2.5

What do you think of dudes that wear pink shirts? Douche or daring?

GO.

Mid-Week Mind Wander #2

Evidently, there's a bible study group of co-workers that meets in an empty office across from mine every Wednesday at noon. They must've been kicked out of their previous meeting place, because this is a new phenomenon. They call some chick and put her on speakerphone and they all pray and chant, etc. Hell, they may perform ritual sacrifices for all I know.

What's interesting is the people that go into this room. I never would have thought some of them would take a whole hour from their day to study the bible with co-workers. And, it's almost like they're sneaking in. It's bizarre. I know half these people were drunk at last year's holiday party and the other half are notorious gossips. It's like they're saying, "I'm a Christian, but I'm not a nut about it!"

So, I'm wondering...

Let's say I'm a Bahá'í and I want to meditate and pray, as is the Bahá'ís form of worship, at the office during lunch. How would that be perceived?

GO.

Mexico Memorexed

I do enjoy memorexing the significant (and not-so-significant) moments of my life. Having just returned from Mexico where my obsession came in handy, I thought a slideshow blog of our vacation would be more entertaining than me writing about it. Prepare yourself for more shared memories on this blog in the future. It may be a new theme.

SPF 50 x 8 days on Milky-White Skin

Deep Thoughts by The Physicist

Tequila Sunset

True Happiness Captured

Jugo de Naranja con Ron, Por Favor

Thank you, Sir, May I Have Another

Pre-Vacation Mishaps

Mishap #1:
On Monday I got a spa pedicure. Yum. My feet were so happy and bright. I don't normally wear bright polish, it's usually a very dark red or black. But, I was feeling particularly cheerful when I went in to get my pedicure. When I got home with my jolly new pedicured feet, we took the tags off the new luggage. I dropped one of the parcels on my foot and totally smudge the big toe. I'm talking major gash in the polish. I became a little unhinged and needed to be talked back from the ledge. I know the ladies will understand. Fortunately, by some stroke of bizarre luck, I just happen to have the exact color polish in my collection. Someone said, "I told you so," under his breath...

Mishap #2:
This morning, I dropped my relatively new, Physician's Formula blush color palette on the bathroom floor. A hair got caught in the lid, and as I was gingerly trying to pull it out...BAM! I saw some pieces on the floor and thought it wasn't a total loss, just a few cracks maybe. Hopefully. I didn't see the compact, it was hiding behind the door. I shut the door and there it was. Lying there pitifully on the floor with a thousand tiny, powdery blocks of color surrounding it. I stared at it, sighed, and walked off to get the broom and dust pan. PF rocks my face off, but I basically just shredded $15 by dropping it. Lame. Since we're leaving at 4am to catch our flight, it looks like I'll be going to CVS down the block to pick up some more at lunch. Unfortunately, I'm downtown and the price for anything downtown is premium. My vehicle is at my place for the duration of our vacation, so there is no escape.

Tonight, we will have a couple of rum drinks on the patio to relax. Let's try not to spill it, eh?

P.S. I managed to get all my vacation gear into ONE suitcase and am only taking 6 pairs of shoes. Thank you, thank you.

Mid-Week Mind Wander #1

What would you do if, after eating your weight in salad, you spilled your delicious, Splenda-sweetened (Whenever possible I prefer to to eat, not drink, my calories, unless it's beer/wine.) Jason's Deli iced tea in the elevator?

You're on your way up to the 37th floor, mind you, with no supplies with which to remedy the situation you've created with your clumsiness. Good job.

GO.

It's Bright In Here

Sometimes, if you 86 the rose-colored glasses for long enough, you can step outside yourself and take in your life from the outside; perhaps as another would see it. When I was married, I would do this frequently. I knew my ex was a total phony and a completely selfish being. He didn't do anything for anyone unless there was something to gain, even if it was just praise. Even though I could see right through his nonsense, I was silent. This silence was deafening over time and I learned I can only take in so much bullshit before I come unhinged. It's toxic. If you swallow enough piles of it, it will make you sick. Hence, of course, why I am now unmarried.

Now, as I lower the rims, I see a new image coming into focus and, unlike before, I like what I see. Back then, when someone would ask me how I was doing, I would simply tell the white lie we all tell and answer with a polite, "fine, thank you." Now, when someone asks me how I'm doing, I can honestly answer, "great," with a sincere smile. It's a rare moment when one can say they truly have no complaints in life. Think about it. To be sure, I am not speaking of the occassional road rage, of which I am notoriously guilty, or the stressful day at work. I'm speaking of incandescent happiness and contentment within every element of your life. I can say emphatically that, yes, I have arrived. It's the land of the emotionally-mature, and it's a nice place to visit. Perhaps I'll stay a while. Or forever.

Take a step outside. Take off the glasses. Who colors your world so brightly just by being in it? Friend...lover...parent...child? Whomever it is, relish and appreciate them, because this is it.

Sex on the Beach

The drink...gaw. And, they make a mean one in Mexico. I've been there several times, and since we share a mad love for the beach, we've decided to take a trip down south in a few short (long) weeks. We are both in serious need of a vacation, so eight days in the sand will be our reality not soon enough. Brilliant.

Cozumel, Mexico

The Womb is a Powerful Weapon

I was listening to NPR the other morning during my blissful commute on 75S into downtown, when I heard a most fascinating piece of journalism gold. Normally, Morning Edition is generally full of pleasant stories regarding Palestinian/Israeli conflict on the Gaza Strip or how much the Dow has dropped in the last 38 seconds. However, this morning something a bit more disturbing was reported regarding a relatively new movement (at least to the mainstream) of evangelical Christians called "The Quiverfull Movement." Now, like most Fundamental Christian movements, it's way over the top in interpretating the verses of the Bible. These people base their lives on the following Bible verse:

"Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one's youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them." -Psalm 127

That's all fine and good. However, they take this a step further and indoctrinate the following lifestyle:

"Quiverfull women accept as many children as God gives them as a demonstration of their radical faith and obedience as well as a means to advance his kingdom: winning the country for Christ by having more children than their adversaries. This self-proclaimed “patriarchy” movement, which likely numbers in the tens of thousands but which is growing exponentially, bases its arguments on Psalm 127: “Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one’s youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They shall not be put to shame when they contend with their enemies in the gate.” Quiverfull women commonly give birth to families of eight, 10 and 12 children, or more. "

Nancy Campbell, a leader of this movement (which I think is an oxymoron in this realm) and author of Be Fruitful and Multiply, has a remarkable point of view regarding the reason these women consider it their sacred duty to have so many children:

"The womb is such a powerful weapon; it's a weapon against the enemy. We look across the Islamic world and we see that they are outnumbering us in their family size, and they are in many places and many countries taking over those nations, without a jihad, just by multiplication."

Freaking seriously? I'm pretty sure God would not want you using your uterus as a weapon of warfare in His name. I'm going to go ahead and bet that He gave you that useful piece of equipment for reproduction, not to take over the world, but to keep the human race going indefinitely. I'm just sayin, I'd rather use my goodies for good rather than evil. It's a personal choice. Not a good place for violence.

The Duggar family, based in Tontitown, Arkansas (yes, I'm from Arkansas...ha. ha.), is a perfect example of this movement. What kind of a woman wants to be pregnant 95% of the time from 1985-present? Seriously.

An excerpt from an article by author Kathryn Joyce, who also wrote Quiverfull: Inside the Christian Patriarchy Movement, said:

"In 1985, homeschooling leader Mary Pride wrote a foundational text for Quiverfull, "The Way Home: Beyond Feminism, Back to Reality." The book argued that family planning is a slippery slope, creating a “contraceptive mentality” that leads to abortion, and that feminism is incompatible with Christianity. As an antidote, Pride told Christians to reject women's liberation in exchange for the principles of submissive wifehood and prolific stay-at-home motherhood. The core ideology was a direct contradiction of Roe v. Wade: Women's bodies and lives did not belong to them, but to God and his plans for Christian revival."

How can any woman that has seen the struggles and oppressions past generations of women have fought, and died for, have this point of view? Does Mary Pride have the right to vote? Yes. Does she have the right to own land? Yes, I believe she does. Does she have the right to publish a book in her own name? Yep. Can she do basically anything she wants without having a husband? Absolutely. With so many rights and liberties afforded her that took hundreds years to achieve, how can any woman backslide into such an outdated and tyrannical belief? It's nonsensical and pisses me off. See you at Planned Parenthood.

Ginger Spice

JD: Ginger Spice is in his mom's office and she keeps yelling at him to stop singing. But he won't stop because he can't stop. If I don't laugh out loud, I'm going to die.

MJ: DO NOT laugh out loud! Dude, what the hell is he singing?

JD: Does it matter? But I will say this: he's a soprano. I may have swallowed my tongue.

MJ: That's because his berries dropped but they heard mommy dearest and said "No Way!" and she scared them back up! So much for not laughing out loud. People are staring.

I found this blog that I drafted in September, but never posted. I truly miss being hysterical and inappropriate with my hetero-life mate.

Northwest Arkansas Crime Report

Feb. 19

2:59 p.m. A woman at 2110 W. Walnut St. reported a purse stolen from an unlocked vehicle with money, driver's license and credit cards in it.

4:53 p.m. A student in Lot 56 reported her vehicle broken into and her purse stolen.

7:45 p.m. A student in Lot 67 reported her vehicle broken into and her purse stolen.

Friggin seriously, WTF is wrong with you ladies? Take your bag or put it in the trunk.

Feb. 20

5:36 p.m. A caller at Buddy's Home Furnishings, 2877 W. Walnut St., reported a theft.

5:40 p.m. A caller at Buddy's Home Furnishings, 2877 W. Walnut St., reported a customer rented two TVs and pawned them.

Buddy is having a helluva a day.

2:01 p.m. A staff member reported a backpack stolen from a vehicle while it was parked in Lot 52 with the windows down.

Self-inflicted…roll your windows up you lazy bastard. And, again, with the hiding of the bag.

10:26 a.m. A caller at Springdale High School, 1103 W. Emma Ave., reported a student arguing with his mother's ex-husband.

I ain't gotta listen to you, you is not my diddy!

All-Consuming, Inconvenient Love

Yes, please...

Good morning, on July 7

Though still in bed, my thoughts go out to you, my Immortal Beloved, now and then joyfully, then sadly, waiting to learn whether or not fate will hear us - I can live only wholly with you or not at all - Yes, I am resolved to wander so long away from you until I can fly to your arms and say that I am really at home with you, and can send my soul enwrapped in you into the land of spirits - Yes, unhappily it must be so - You will be the more contained since you know my fidelity to you. No one else can ever possess my heart - never - never - Oh God, why must one be parted from one whom one so loves. And yet my life in V is now a wretched life - Your love makes me at once the happiest and the unhappiest of men - At my age I need a steady, quiet life - can that be so in our connection? My angel, I have just been told that the mailcoach goes every day - therefore I must close at once so that you may receive the letter at once - Be calm, only by a calm consideration of our existence can we achieve our purpose to live together - Be calm - love me - today - yesterday - what tearful longings for you - you - you - my life - my all - farewell. Oh continue to love me - never misjudge the most faithful heart of your beloved.

ever thine
ever mine
ever ours

Ludwig Van Beethoven

Ambitions...squared

So, in addition to me picking up the guitar, I've decided to wrap up some more schooling. Yes, I know it's hard to believe but I'm tired of having enough extra hours for two associates, or one bachelor and a half-associate, but never being able to put all these classes together and make a compilation that entitles me to a degree. Since I've been in the legal industry for 8 years, it only makes sense now to either go for the gusto and get either (a) a law degree or (b) get a paralegal degree.

I choose B. Seriously, did you think I would choose law school? Ew. No offense to all the rad attorneys I know, of course. But, ew.

I found a college about 3 blocks from my office that offers a paralegal degree program and evening classes for those "working adults" like me. Sweet. Two of the best parts about this decision is (1) the cost is $41 per credit hour (I am totally paying cash for these classes), and (2) I only need 42 hours to complete the degree requirements. I could be done in 3 semesters and a summer if I really knock it out.

I'll be starting this summer or fall. Wish me luck!

Ambitions

I had my very first guitar lesson last night. I'm totally hooked. I really enjoyed trying to play and when I finally managed to get the 5-note scale down, it felt like I'd just composed the greatest song ever. It sounded absurdly horrible, but I will improve with time and practice. I feel sorry for my neighbors already. I'm on the prowl for an acoustic guitar, preferably gently used. I've perused craigslist, but haven't found one that I like just yet. Perhaps I'll go to some thrift stores this weekend and see what I can find.

Wayne is a good teacher. Encouraging and patient, which is exactly what I'll need during this process.

So long, 2008

2008 was an incredibly busy/sad/happy/fulfilling/scary/fun/good/reflective year for me. I believe something noteworthy (for me, anyway) happened in almost every month of 2008. Let's see...

January - One of my nearest and dearest had her first baby. He turns 1 year old today. Happy Birthday, Scouty Mac!

February - My sister and I drove to Hot Springs to surprise our dad on his birthday. It was the best surprise ever and someday we'll do it again.

March - I went to KC for my sister's birthday, wherein we treated ourselves to a day at the spa. Fabulous.

April - Celebrated my 2-year wedding anniversary and attended a welcome home party for my ex-husband's good friend returning from Iraq for the second time.

May - My brother, Darius, came home on leave from Guam and I finally got to meet his new wife, Shai.

June - Separated from my ex-husband.

July - Moved to McKinney and landed a sweet job within a week.

August - It was effing hot this month in Texas. I did nothing but work and sweat. But, I did write a slew of political comentary regarding the upcoming presidential primaries.

September - Divorce finalized. That was a sad day. No matter how right you think you are about your decision, I wouldn't wish this feeling on anyone.

October - Moved into Dallas proper. Big city. Holy crap. And, Monica and Holly came to visit and we went to The Impressionists exhibit at the Kimball Art Museum.

November - Turned 29...yeah yeah yeah.

December - Casey/Tina/Mike came down for a visit and we had a bad ass time. It was 75+ all weekend...rad.

I've learned a great deal in the past year, but the most important lesson I've learned is to listen to my gut. It's almost always right. Whether it's telling me I'm hungry or to run screaming in the other direction away from that guy I agreed to go on a second date with, I need to listen to it. It knows. My heart gets in the way of what my gut tells me, and that's been my problem for years. For now, my heart is locked away for safe-keeping and whenever someone worthy steps up, then my gut will tell me that it's ok to let my heart out to play. Happy new year...welcome, 2009.

Northwest Arkansas Crime Report

10:37 a.m. - A man at 12656 Pioneer Lane in Gentry reported his ex-wife tried to steal electronics from him.
I swear, I was in Texas! Can't pin that on me!

7:08 a.m. - A man at 1501 N.E. Wildcat Way reported money taken during a burglary.
Seriously? Money taken during a burglary? Hmmm...

9:46 a.m. - A man with Cooper Power Systems, 3660 S. School Ave., reported a female employee hit the plant manager.
Beat his ass, Norma Rae!

8:26 p.m. - A woman at 750 S. 40th St. reported her daughter causing problems.
This is a new one...kids causing their parents problems. Oh, I know! I'll call the cops, then she'll be sorry.

4:08 a.m. - A man at Action Computers, 1811 Westwood Ave., reported he woke up to find his vehicle dome light on and the engine running.
Dude, stop smoking pot in the back room of Action Computers at 4am.

Drunk with Power

I have recently fallen behind on the thought-provoking diatribes about all that surrounds me. I have no excuse, I was distracted and someone told me it was "lame." Subsequently, this naysayer has been kicked out of the circle of trust...permanently. Not because they called my blog lame, but for other, more serious transgressions. Just trust me. Moving on...

There have been so many interesting developments of human ridiculousness, that I can barely pick a topic. Let's see...ah yes, Blagojevich.

Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich's bizarre wire-tapped rantings about how much he could get for President-Elect Obama's vacant Senate seat are stupendous. This man has obviously been knocked around a few too many times by the Chicago underground. Seems like G-Rod should've taken heed to the warnings he received regarding the FBI tapping of his phones. It seems Illinois doesn't breed the most righteous politicians...six of the last nine Illinois governors have been convicted, tried or charged with crimes. Perhaps they should try a different line of work because they don't appear to be very good at being either a politician or a criminal.

Bushisms

As much as we're going to miss George W. Bush when he leaves office January 20th, we're going to miss his misuse of the English language and the SNL skits of his fumblings even more. Here are a few "Bushisms" to keep you warm.

"I'm conservative, but I'm not a nut about it."

"As Luce reminded me, he said, without data, without facts, without information, the discussions about public education mean that a person is just another opinion." - September 9, 2003

"We are ready for any unforeseen event which may or may not happen."

"There's an old saying in Tennessee -- I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee...that says, fool me once, shame on...shame on you. Fool me...you can't get fooled again." - September 17, 2002

"I mean, there needs to be a wholesale effort against racial profiling, which is illiterate children."

"A lame duck session, for people who don't know what that means, it means the Senate is coming and the House is coming back between now and Christmas and they've got a few days to get some big things done." - November 7, 2002

"Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?"

"I was proud the other day when both Republicans and Democrats stood with me in the Rose Garden to announce their support for a clear statement of purpose, "You disarm, or we will." - October 5, 2002

"Whether or not it needed to happen, I'm still convinced it needed to happen." [explaining why he sent U.S. troops into Iraq] - December 12, 2005

"One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures."

"Too many good docs are getting out of business. Too many OB/GYN's aren't able to practice their, their love with women all across this country."

"You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test."

"If you find a neighbor in need, you're responsible for serving that neighbor in need, you're responsible for loving a neighbor just like you'd like to love yourself." - November 16, 2002

"We cannot let terrorists hold this nation hostile or hold our allies hostile."

"I glance at the headlines just to kind of get a flavor for what's moving. I rarely read the stories, and get briefed by people who are probably read the news themselves." - September 21, 2003

"Will the highways on the Internet become more few?"

"The administration I'll bring is a group of men and women who are focused on what's best for America, honest men and women, decent men and women, women who will see service to our country as a great privilege and who will not stain the house."

"In my sentences I go where no man has gone before."

Tuck Fexas: Part Deux

I went to the DMV again today, birth certificate in hand. I was on a mission. Upon arrival, I stood in the same line as the rest of the other people that had better things to do than stand in that line. I get to the front, finally, and the woman asks me, "Do you have your birth certificate?"

"Yes!", I said triumphantly.

She gathered all my paperwork then stopped short. "What's the matter?", I said, feeling my cheeks flush. She said, "Your Arkansas license expired on Monday." I said "Ok, that was only day before yesterday and you were closed yesterday. Is there a penalty for it being expired? I can pay it if there is." She said, "No, there's no penalty, but you're going to have to take the WRITTEN AND DRIVING EXAM. Here is a list of offices that you can call and get an appointment with to take the tests. Oh, and here's a manual. Study, study. NEXT."

Stunned doesn't begin to describe what I was feeling. I wanted to choke a bitch, but I maintained. I stared at her blankly. My voice left me. I took the paperwork and staggered out of the office in a haze of bewilderment. Did she just tell me that I have to take a driving test? For real?

I come to as I'm walking back to my office and getting thoroughly pissed off that I have to take a driving test because my license expired 2 days ago. I haven't taken a driving test in 13 years. Frick.

I can fix this.

I get online when I get back to my office. Ah ha! I can get my Arkansas license renewed when I go to Dad's for Thanksgiving. I'll have to pay a small penalty, but that's ok, totally worth not having to take a driving test. I called the Nashville area motor vehicle office. Closed the day after Thanksgiving. Well, I'll just take the Wednesday off before Thanksgiving and get it done. No big deal.

I keep scrolling through their website. Bingo. If you work/go to school out of state, you can renew your Arkansas license BY MAIL. YES! I email the director of the "by mail" department. I was totally honest and said my license expired 2 days ago, I worked in Texas and I didn't know when I would be back in Arkansas. She said I could do it by mail. She FedEx'ing me a packet to my office to fill out and send back. All she needs is a $20 check and a vision card filled out by a physician (hello, Wal-Mart vision center). Two-day turn around.

Eat it, Texas.

Tuck Fexas

I set out to get my Texas driver's license today. I decided to schlep the 4 and a half blocks from my office to the City of Dallas building. It was a lovely afternoon for a walk, but my feet began to hurt about Neimen Marcus in my unforgiving heels on the Ervay Street sidewalks. I made it though. I'm a trooper.

Upon arrival, I stood in line for about 15 minutes, all the while looking around for any postings that list the requirements to obtain a driver's license in the Lone Star State. There were none. Surprise. However, I thought I was safe with nearly 10 pieces of identification tucked in my "Texas Driver's License" file folder (shut up). I had with me the following documents as proof of my identity (Plus, I'm a white girl with pasty white skin and a Southern accent. Seriously, I'm from here):

Arkansas driver's license
Social Security card
Marriage License
Decree of Divorce
Student ID from UA and JBU
Military Dependent ID (obselete, but it still had my name, photo, DOB and SSN on it)
Texas Vehicle Registration (obtained yesterday without incident)
Texas Voter ID Card (obtained months ago without incident)
Proof of Insurance

Unimpressed with my organization, the driver's license overseer looked at me and said, "I'm going to need your birth certificate or passport to process this request." I looked like a deer in headlights. I said, "But I have all of these documents. Surely a combination of all these will be sufficient. Look, I have a valid out-of-state driver's license and a military ID!"

Passively, she said, "I'm going to need your birth certificate or passport to process this request. NEXT."

Texas.

THE TIME FOR CHANGE HAS COME

President-Elect Barack Obama

Thoughts on turning 29...

I am coming to grips with the reality that in about a week I will observe the last birthday of my twenties. What do I have to say about this? Bring.....it.....on. I'm ready for the next step. Those good genes that were passed down to me have helped me hang on to my youthful features. I, of course, have a few gray hairs and I can see the early stages of crow's feet. They are something to be endured. And, as Truvy would say, "Honey, time marches on, and sooner or later you'll realize it's marching across your face."

But, with age comes wisdom. I have learned a great deal during my twenties....

1. My parents are not clueless.
2. I'd rather learn things the hard way.
3. I prefer living alone.
4. The real world has its perks.
5. I love passionately and with my whole heart.
6. It's easy to become cynical, I must fight the urge.
7. I'm glad I paid attention in class.
8. I wish everyone could have a parent like my Daddy.
9. I'm loyal.
10. I'm exceptionally stubborn.
11. Beer is an acquired taste.
12. So is coffee.
13. I love them both.
14. I can count on a handful of people to be there forever.
15. I'm liberal.
16. I'm pro-choice.
17. I do not want to be rich.
18. Marriage is not the obvious next step.
19. My moral compass is almost always pointed north.
20. Politics intrigue me endlessly.
21. I could live off of Starbucks.
22. Few things are more beautiful than seeing a great artist's original work.
23. I want to be a mother.
24. I love my job and I'm good at it.
25. I'm a sucker for nineteenth century English literature.
26. I'm an impatient driver.
27. I despise going to bed angry.
28. I loathe techno and speed metal.
29. I'm addicted to NPR.

Northwest Arkansas Crime Report

11:30 a.m. A woman on Arbor Acres Road, Springdale, reported her daughter and her daughter’s husband arguing.
Meddling mothers-in-law…

8:38 a.m. A woman on West Osage Bend reported her ex-husband threatened to beat her face in.
Beat her face in? Is that technical cop talk?

6:42 p.m. A woman on South Morningside Drive reported three men in a parking lot threatening to shoot her, her brother, his wife and a friend.
Damn girl, what'd you do??

8:56 p.m. A man at 3485 W. Wedington Drive reported a set of golf clubs taken.
It was Tommy Tommerson!

10: 18 a.m. A man on Martens Drive reported his 17-year-old daughter breaking into the residence through a back window.
She just needs her Trojans, Dad. Gaw, don't freak out.

11:08 a.m. A woman at Take 2 Video, 2111 S. Old Missouri Road, reported an identity theft.
Doesn't Take 2 Video have the Couples Corner? You know…the COUPLES CORNER. *wink*

3:42 p.m. A caller at Tyson Foods, Inc., 600 Berry St., reported a theft.
Ralph, you keep a sharp eye on the chicken liver thief. He's EVERYWHERE.

5:40 p.m. A caller at the Water & Sewer Department, 526 Oak Ave., reported a theft.
What'd they steal? Nevermind.

The Impressionists

This weekend Holly, Monica and I went to the Kimbell Art Museum in Fort Worth to view a collection of works from the era of the great Impressionists. Some masters of this movement that were on display included Renior, Monet, Van Gogh, Dagas, Seurat, Toulouse-Latrec, Gauguin and several others. This is one of the reasons I was looking forward to moving to this area. It has such an amazing setting for truly remarkable exhibitions.

There were two pieces that moved me in such a way that I became enraptured. The first was Two Sisters (1881) by Renior (below). This piece is so striking. Renior's use of color, light and emotion are superb. I have seen this piece in books and in reproductions and they scarcely do it justice. The flowers on the young sister's hat are so incredibly bright and intense that you're drawn to her immediately. While the face of the older sister pulls you to stare into her eyes. The brush strokes of this piece are truly captivating. Also, a little known fact about this piece is that these two young ladies were, in fact, not related.

I got a little choked up when I was Water Lily Pond (1900) by Monet (below). The emotion evoked from me by this painting is beggaring description. This work inspired me in a way that I cannot portray it in words. I do not wish to breakdown this piece by talking about light and color, it was just simply beautiful. Probably the most beautiful painting I've ever seen.

In Remembrance

This photo was taken a couple of months before she became ill. It is the last picture of her and I together.

This day marks the fourth anniversary of the passing of my grandmother, my Meme. She lost the battle to pancreatic cancer and being there, holding her hand, when she passed was one of the most beautiful moments of my life. I couldn't tell if she wanted to stay with her family, which were packed so tightly in her room in the ICU during those final moments, or if she was ready to break free from the pain and begin her journey to whatever is next. I know she'd missed my Papa dearly, who had passed 5 years earlier. She hadn't been the same Meme since Papa died, but she was still a tough as friggin nails. Never losing her grace under pressure; she was the glue that held our family together.

She taught me so many wonderful things throughout my childhood and early adulthood, and I attribute much of my attitude to her. She had an opinion about everything and was never too shy to say so. She always gave people the benefit of the doubt and helped any way she could. She called me her "professional student" because I had changed my major in college so many times, I could've held several degrees by then. I think she would be very proud of me now, seeing what I've gone through and accomplished, and come out of it a smarter, better, more determined woman. She taught me to be a lady, albeit a feisty lady. She had words of wisdom that resonate within me still and today I can hear her say, "Melissa, come here and sit next your Meme. Tell me what's going on with you."

She taught me so much, but some of the most important lessons I remember are: don't take shit from anybody; stand behind your family no matter how much you disagree with them; never put anything in your Crown but ice or water; never leave the house without your face on; stockings should be worn in lieu of panties (to avoid lines and smooth your curves, of course); blondes have more fun; medium rare is enough for a steak; respect your family; love your sister, one of these days, you'll be best friends (she was right, of course); you can never eat too many crab legs; the faster the boat, the better; keep your hands off the clean glass doors (oh man, I can still hear her bitching about that); and be your own person.

I cannot express into words how much I miss her. She was such an influential part of my life. I commemorated her life with mine, so in celebration of her marriage to my Papa, I got married on the same day…46 years later. My marriage did not last, but the memory of that honor to her and my Papa will always be a part of me. I do not regret it for a moment.

Thank you, Meme, for helping me become the woman I am today and showing me that you can still be a lady and kick some ass. You and Papa are dearly missed. I love you.

Don't forget to take notes!

The ONLY Vice-Presidential nominee debate of the election is tonight at 8:00 C.S.T. on ABC!! WOO HOO!!

She should be let out of the closet more often, don't you think?

Sarah Palin has a traveling press corp that goes with her everywhere she goes, but she's never taken questions from them since her acceptance as McCain's right-hand (wo)man. Never ever. But, today she was permitted to break the silence! Let's see what riveting, thought-provoking answers she came up with to the 4 questions HER press corp was allowed to ask...

CNN: On the topic of never letting this happen again [September 11 terrorist attacks in NY], do you agree with the way the Bush administration has handled the war on terrorism, is there anything you would do differently?

Very good question CNN Guy, let's see the governor's response...she's well-versed in foreign policy. Oh wait, damn, nevermind...that's Hillary. My bad. Honest mistake. You know, them having the same plumbing and I'm a moron that only wants a woman in the White House no matter their points of view or positions on the issues, it's easy to get them mixed up. Duh. I'm just a silly woman, don't pay me any mind.

PALIN: I agree with the Bush administration that we take the fight to them. We never again let them come onto our soil and try to destroy not only our democracy, but communities like the community of New York. Never again. So yes, I do agree with taking the fight to the terrorists and stopping them over there.

Huh? I'm sorry, did she answer the question? Let's read that again.... Hmmm, like 1/16 of it resembles an answer to a question, but not the one that was asked. Let's analyze. This is a two part question: Do you agree with the Bush Administration's handling of the war on terror? Potential answer: Yes or No. Ok, she said "Yes, I do agree with taking the fight to the terrorists and stopping them over there." Ok, Sarah, that's not what he asked you. Let's go over this again, I think your french twist is too tight. He asked you if you agreed with the Bush Administration's handling. So, you only agree with one aspect of Bush's handling, that they shouldn't be permitted to attack us again. Yeah, that's a good idea. Did you come up with that one on your own? Call the Pentagon, she's figured it out boys! But, you answered a question CNN Guy didn't ask. And, you're forgetting the second part of the question: Is there anything you would do differently? Care to take stab at it? Don't hurt yourself, I wouldn't want your big hair to burst into flames. No? Ok, let's move on...that was painful, I know.

POLITICO: Do you think our presence in Iraq and Afghanistan and our continued presence there is inflaming Islamic extremists?

Again, an excellent point, Politco Guy. No wonder these guys are political journalists following the Republican VP nominee around, to ask the tough questions! Ms. Palin, your thoughts? (*This is kind of a stupid and pointless question and we all know the answer to it, but let's see how she responds.*)

PALIN: I think our presence in Iraq and Afghanistan will lead to further security of our nation, again, because the mission is to take the fight over there. Do not let them come over here and attempt again what they accomplished here, and that was some destruction. Terrible destruction on that day. But since September 11, Americans uniting and rebuilding and committing to never letting that happen again.

Uh huh...ok. Uh....can you speak and understand English? Just curious. I think we're aware of your feelings regarding you not wanting the terrorists to come back over here. We get it, I don't want them back either. But, do you think our presence in Iraq/Afghanistan is inflaming the nutjobs over there? In other words, is it pissing them off? This is another good example of a Yes or No question. And, it's not a two-partner, so she should have had no problem answering it directly. You're batting a thousand Governor. Do the words "jihad" and "evil western devils" mean anything to you? I'm going to take a stab at this one for you, you look flustered. Uh hem...yes, I think our presence in Iraq/Afghanistan is inflaming Islamic extremists. PHEW! Lookie there, I answered a question and didn't spontaneously combust! Kick ass.

POLITICO: Do you support the reelection bids of embattled Alaska Republicans, Rep. Don Young and Sen. Ted Stevens?

Yeah, those two are screwed, both being charged with corruption, taking bribes and gifts from big oil companies, etc. So, let's see how Gov. Lipstick Bulldog answers this one. Remember, this is ALSO a Yes or No question....Governor?

PALIN: Ted Stevens trial started a couple days ago. We’ll see where that goes.

What the f*** does that mean? Ok, let's backtrack. At least one-half of this is an easy No. Simply because, as a matter of FACT, Gov. Palin actually endorsed Rep. Young's opponent, Lt. Gov. Sean Parnell in the Alaskan primary. So, perhaps.....no? Or, you're going to see how the trial plays out before you make a decision and then choose sides? I gotcha. Good move. Non-committal. Go with that, it seems be convincing the moronic masses you know what you're doing.

POLITICO: Are you gong to vote for them?

Yes, are you?

PALIN: [no answer]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAAAAA!!!

JERSEY JOURNAL: What do you think of bailout package before Congress?

Loves it! Of course she does....pa~leeze!! Who doesn't, really? (*Yeah, I don't, but that's neither here nor there.*)

PALIN: I don't support that until the provisions that Sen. McCain has offered are implemented in Paulson's proposals.

Oh, wait...spoke too soon. So, what you're saying is you do not support the $700 BILLION bailout package for all the investment companies that sqaundered billions of dollars in bad investments at all unless your "boss" gets his perfect special way with its provisions? Who's your daddy, Sarah? Who's your daddy!?

3:45 a.m.

Maddi: Aunt Melissa, you'd tell me if you were a werewolf, wouldn't you?

Me: Of course, Maddi. What's the matter?

Maddi: I had a dream about werewolves, so I came in here to sleep with you. I'm just checking to make sure it's safe.

Me: Ok, Maddi. Everything is ok. Go to sleep.

Maddi: Is mommy a werewolf?

Me: Not as far as I know. (*stupid answer*)

Maddi: How far is that?

Me: She's not a werewolf, sweetie. Let's go to sleep.

Maddi: Is Sammy (their dog) a werewolf?

Me: Oh Maddi, no one in this house is a werewolf. I promise. Have I ever broken a promise to you?

Maddi: No. But, Sammy bites me when I pick him up sometimes...and...maybe he IS a werewolf in disguise..........

I can't remember the rest of the conversation, I dozed off. Maddi was sound asleep in mommy werewolf's bed this morning. I heart her.

"The Truth About Sarah Palin"

Rolling Stone Magazine
"The Truth About Sarah Palin"
by Tim Dickinson
October 2, 2008

http://www.rollingstone.com/politics/story/23140513/the_truth_about_sarah_palin

Sarah Palin's credentials as a "reformer" are nothing but spin. She has sided with Big Oil, lobbied to increase pork spending and abused her public power to carry out personal vendettas. Here's a guide to separating myth from fact.

THE MYTH: "She took the luxury jet that was acquired by her predecessor and sold it on eBay. And made a profit!" — John McCain, at a campaign stop in Wisconsin
THE FACTS: No one bought the jet online. It was eventually sold through an aircraft broker — at a loss to taxpayers of nearly $600,000.

THE MYTH: "I told the Congress 'Thanks, but no thanks' on that Bridge to Nowhere." — Sarah Palin, convention speech
THE FACTS: Supported the infamous pork project in her 2006 run for governor, even after Congress had killed the bridge; derided its opponents as "spinmeisters." Reversed her stance a year later — but kept the money, doling out the $223 million in federal funds to other pork projects throughout the state.

THE MYTH: "We ... championed reform to end the abuses of earmark spending by Congress." — Sarah Palin, convention speech

THE FACTS: As mayor, employed a lobbyist who also worked for Jack Abramoff to secure $27 million in pork spending for Wasilla — more than $4,000 per resident. In her two years as governor, requested $453 million in earmarks. Alaska ranks first in the nation for pork, raking in seven times the national average.

THE MYTH: "I found ... someone who stopped government from wasting taxpayers' money." — John McCain, introducing Palin

THE FACTS: Signature accomplishment as mayor: building a $15 million hockey arena that plunged the city into debt. Broke ground on the project without finalizing the city's purchase of the land; the resulting fiasco cost Wasilla $1.3 million — roughly $200 per resident.

THE MYTH: "Our opponents say, again and again, that drilling will not solve all of America's energy problems — as if we didn't know that already." — Sarah Palin, convention speech

THE FACTS: "I beg to disagree with any candidate who would say we can't drill our way out of our problem." — Sarah Palin, July 2008

THE MYTH: "We began a nearly $40 billion natural-gas pipeline to help lead America to energy independence." — Sarah Palin, convention speech

THE FACTS: With federal approval years away, not a single section of the pipeline has been laid. State could end up paying the pipeline's contractor $500 million — even if it never breaks ground on the project.

THE MYTH: "She's from a small town with small-town values." — Fred Thompson, convention speech

THE FACTS: Wasilla and the surrounding valley recently named the meth capital of Alaska, with 42 meth labs busted in a single year.

THE MYTH: Palin has "taken on the political establishment in the largest state of the union." — Fred Thompson, convention speech

THE FACTS: Served until 2005 as director of fundraising group associated with indicted senator Ted Stevens.

THE MYTH: "She's fought oil companies." — John McCain, introducing Palin

THE FACTS: Collected $13,000 in campaign contributions from oil and gas lobbyists, including Exxon, BP, Shell and Chevron. BP was a sponsor of her inaugural ball.

THE MYTH: "She's been to Kuwait. She's been over there. She has been with her troops. The National Guard that she commands, who have been over there and had the experience." — John McCain, highlighting Palin's national-security credentials

THE FACTS: Never had a passport before 2007, when she made a brief photo-op trip to visit troops in Germany and Kuwait. Has never been to Iraq, and has not met a single foreign head of state.

THE MYTH: "I have protected the taxpayers by vetoing wasteful spending." — Sarah Palin, convention speech

THE FACTS: As governor, sought travel reimbursement for 312 nights she spent in her own home.

Palin Factiods

For those of you that need a little factiod backup, I've found some interesting websites/blogs/newspaper articles regarding Gov. Palin and her...uh hem...record. ENJOY.

A few Palin scandalous facts...
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/robert-silvers/the-real-sarah-palin-scan_b_123113.html

Great NY Times article...
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/09/14/us/politics/14palin.html?_r=1&hp=&adxnnl=1&oref=slogin&adxnnlx=1222179622-k2P/yDrW9RhmBKNv3QzCDQ

Sherry Whitstine's official blog...
http://syrin.vox.com/

This is my favorite. Wonder how many of these questions she could actually answer and it be an ANSWER, not posturing words with something that sounds something like a coherent thought...
http://blog.foreignpolicy.com/node/9741

Northwest Arkansas Crime Report

7:38 a.m. - A man at Harps, 1308 N. Thompson St., reported a man who had been banned from the store trespassing on the property.
Wanting some Hamburger Helper and Spam is not a crime...but it should be. YAK!

8:13 a.m. - A woman at 2301 S. W. Second St. reported her husband causing problems.
Seriously? It's 8:00 in the morning, make him some corn flakes and coffee and send him on his way. Then, leave. If he's such a nuisence that you feel compelled to call the POLICE, leave him.

8:59 a.m. - A woman at 2301 S. W. Second St. reported her husband banging on the door and yelling.
Please note this report was made at the same address...45 minutes later. People are morons...

4:16 p.m. - A woman at 2002 S. W. Fir Ave. reported someone left a note in the information tube outside her house that is for sale.
What did it say? What did it say???

11: 37 p.m. - A woman at 5 Holly Drive reported someone keeps ringing the doorbell.
Don't you have a peep hole? It's probably a Jehovah's Witness. Just tell them you're Catholic, they'll go away directly...no questions.

11:17 p.m. - A woman at 402 Southpointe Ave. reported her ex-boyfriend violated a protective order by text-messaging her.
CHANGE…YOUR…PHONE…NUMBER. People are morons…

Be An Informed Voter

I friend of mine forwarded this to me. It's provocative and subjective. The author sounds fairly informed in state and local politics. I have deleted her name and replaced it with her initials...there are kooks out there. Also, I have looked up some of the facts she mentions and have found them to be accurate. I don't care for Sarah Palin in the least, but I believe everyone has the duty to be an informed voter. If this message moves you to find out more about Gov. Palin, then it's accomplished what I intended it to.

I'm reading a book right now, "Time Enough for Love" by Robert Heinlein, and it has a very interesting and relavant statement with regards to this particular issue: "If you are part of a society that votes, then do so. There may be no candidates or no measures you want to vote for...but there are certain to be ones you want to vote against." I agree with this wholeheartedly. Be informed...

Dear Friends,

So many people have asked me about what I know about Sarah Palin in the last 2 days that I decided to write something up... Basically, Sarah Palin and Hillary Clinton have only 2 things in common: their gender and their good looks. You have my permission to forward this to your friends/email contacts with my name and email address attached, but please do not post it on any websites, as there are too many kooks out there...

Thanks,
AK

ABOUT SARAH PALIN

I am a resident of Wasilla, Alaska. I have known Sarah since 1992. Everyone here knows Sarah, so it is nothing special to say we are on a first-name basis. Our children have attended the same schools. Her father was my child's favorite substitute teacher. I also am on a first name basis with her parents and mother-in-law. I attended more City Council meetings during her administration than about 99% of the residents of the city.

She is enormously popular; in every way she's like the most popular girl in middle school. Even men who think she is a poor choice and won't vote for her can't quit smiling when talking about her because she is a "babe".

It is astonishing and almost scary how well she can keep a secret. She kept her most recent pregnancy a secret from her children and parents for seven months.

She is "pro-life". She recently gave birth to a Down's syndrome baby. There is no cover-up involved, here; Trig is her baby.

She is energetic and hardworking. She regularly worked out at the gym.

She is savvy. She doesn't take positions; she just "puts things out there" and if they prove to be popular, then she takes credit. Her husband works a union job on the North Slope for BP and is a champion snowmobile racer. Todd Palin's kind of job is highly sought-after because of the schedule and high pay. He arranges his work schedule so he can fish for salmon in Bristol Bay for a month or so in summer, but by no stretch of the imagination is fishing their major source of income. Nor has her life-style ever been anything like that of native Alaskans.

Sarah and her whole family are avid hunters.

She's smart.

Her experience is as mayor of a city with a population of about 5,000 (at the time), and less than 2 years as governor of a state with about 670,000 residents.

During her mayoral administration most of the actual work of running this small city was turned over to an administrator. She had been pushed to hire this administrator by party power-brokers after she had gotten herself into some trouble over precipitous firings which had given rise to a recall campaign.

Sarah campaigned in Wasilla as a "fiscal conservative". During her 6 years as Mayor, she increased general government expenditures by over 33%. During those same 6 years the amount of taxes collected by the City increased by 38%. This was during a period of low inflation (1996-2002). She reduced progressive property taxes and increased a regressive sales tax which taxed even food. The tax cuts that she promoted benefited large corporate property owners way more than they benefited residents.

The huge increases in tax revenues during her mayoral administration weren't enough to fund everything on her wish list though, borrowed money was needed, too. She inherited a city with zero debt, but left it with indebtedness of over $22 million. What did Mayor Palin encourage the voters to borrow money for? Was it the infrastructure that she said she supported? The sewage treatment plant that the city lacked? or a new library? No. $1m for a park. $15m-plus for construction of a multi-use sports complex which she rushed through to build on a piece of property that the City didn't even have clear title to, that was still in litigation 7 yrs later--to the delight of the lawyers involved! The sports complex itself is a nice addition to the community but a huge money pit, not the profit-generator she claimed it would be. She also supported bonds for $5.5m for road projects that could have been done in 5-7 yrs without any borrowing.

While Mayor, City Hall was extensively remodeled and her office redecorated more than once.

These are small numbers, but Wasilla is a very small city.

As an oil producer, the high price of oil has created a budget surplus in Alaska. Rather than invest this surplus in technology that will make us energy independent and increase efficiency, as Governor she proposed distribution of this surplus to every individual in the state. In this time of record state revenues and budget surpluses, she recommended that the state borrow/bond for road projects, even while she proposed distribution of surplus state revenues: spend today's surplus,borrow for needs.

She's not very tolerant of divergent opinions or open to outside ideas or compromise. As Mayor, she fought ideas that weren't generated by her or her staff. Ideas weren't evaluated on their merits, but on the basis of who proposed them.

While Sarah was Mayor of Wasilla she tried to fire our highly respected City Librarian because the Librarian refused to consider removing from the library some books that Sarah wanted removed. City residents rallied to the defense of the City Librarian and against Palin's attempt at out-and-out censorship, so Palin backed down and withdrew her termination letter. People who fought her attempt to oust the Librarian are on her enemies list to this day.

Sarah complained about the "old boy's club" when she first ran for Mayor, so what did she bring Wasilla? A new set of "old boys". Palin fired most of the experienced staff she inherited. At the City and as Governor she hired or elevated new, inexperienced, obscure people, creating a staff totally dependent on her for their jobs and eternally grateful and fiercely loyal--loyal to the point of abusing their power to further her personal agenda, as she has acknowledged happened in the case of pressuring the State's top cop (see below).

As Mayor, Sarah fired Wasilla's Police Chief because he "intimidated" her, she told the press. As Governor, her recent firing of Alaska's top cop has the ring of familiarity about it. He served at her pleasure and she had every legal right to fire him, but it's pretty clear that an important factor in her decision to fire him was because he wouldn't fire her sister's ex-husband, a State Trooper. Under investigation for abuse of power, she has had to admit that more than 2 dozen contacts were made between her staff and family to the person that she later fired,pressuring him to fire her ex-brother-in-law. She tried to replace the man she fired with a man who she knew had been reprimanded for sexual harassment; when this caused a public furor, she withdrew her support.

She has bitten the hand of every person who extended theirs to her in help. The City Council person who personally escorted her around town introducing her to voters when she first ran for Wasilla City Council became one of her first targets when she was later elected Mayor. She abruptly fired her loyal City Administrator; even people who didn't like the guy were stunned by this ruthlessness.

Fear of retribution has kept all of these people from saying anything publicly about her.

When then-Governor Murkowski was handing out political plums, Sarah got the best, Chair of the Alaska Oil and Gas Conservation Commission: one of the few jobs not in Juneau and one of the best paid. She had no background in oil & gas issues. Within months of scoring this great job which paid $122,400/yr, she was complaining in the press about the high salary. I was told that she hated that job: the commute, the structured hours, the work. Sarah became aware that a member of this Commission (who was also the State Chair of the Republican Party) engaged in unethical behavior on the job. In a gutsy move which some undoubtedly cautioned her could be political suicide, Sarah solved all her problems in one fell swoop: got out of the job she hated and garnered gobs of media attention as the patron saint of ethics and as a gutsy fighter against the "old boys' club" when she dramatically quit, exposing this man's ethics violations (for which he was fined).

As Mayor, she had her hand stuck out as far as anyone for pork from Senator Ted Stevens. Lately, she has castigated his pork-barrel politics and publicly humiliated him. She only opposed the "bridge to nowhere" after it became clear that it would be unwise not to.

As Governor, she gave the Legislature no direction and budget guidelines, then made a big grandstand display of line-item vetoing projects, calling them pork. Public outcry and further legislative action restored most of these projects--which had been vetoed simply because she was not aware of their importance--but with the unobservant she had gained a reputation as "anti-pork".

She is solidly Republican: no political maverick. The State party leaders hate her because she has bit them in the back and humiliated them. Other members of the party object to herself-description as a fiscal conservative.

Around Wasilla there are people who went to high school with Sarah. They call her "Sarah Barracuda" because of her unbridledambition and predatory ruthlessness. Before she became so powerful, very ugly stories circulated around town about shenanigans she pulled to be made point guard on the high school basketball team.

When Sarah's mother-in-law, a highly respected member of the community and experienced manager, ran for Mayor, Sarah refused to endorse her.

As Governor, she stepped outside of the box and put together of package of legislation known as "AGIA" that forced the oil companies to march to the beat of her drum.

Like most Alaskans, she favors drilling in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge. She has questioned if the loss of sea ice is linked to global warming. She campaigned "as a private citizen" against a state initiaitive that would have either a) protected salmon streams from pollution from mines, or b) tied up in the courts all mining in the state (depending on who you listen to). She has pushed the State's lawsuit against the Dept. of the Interior's decision to list polar bears as threatened species.

McCain is the oldest person to ever run for President; Sarah will be a heartbeat away from being President. There has to be literally millions of Americans who are more knowledgeable and experienced than she. However, there's a lot of people who have underestimated her and are regretting it.


CLAIM V. FACT

Hockey mom: true, for a few years

PTA mom: true, years ago when her first-born was in elementary school, not since

NRA supporter: absolutely true

Social conservative: mixed. Opposes gay marriage, BUT vetoed a bill that would have denied benefits to employees in same-sex relationships (said she did this because it was unconsitutional).

Pro-creationism: mixed. Supports it, BUT did nothing as Governor to promote it.

Pro-life: mixed. Knowingly gave birth to a Down's syndrome baby BUT declined to call a special legislative session on some pro-life legislation

Experienced: Some high schools have more students than Wasilla has residents. Many cities have more residents than the state of Alaska. No legislative experience other than City Council. Little hands-on supervisory or managerial experience; needed help of a city administrator to run town of about 5,000.

Political maverick: not at all

Gutsy: absolutely!

Open & transparent: ??? Good at keeping secrets. Not good at explaining actions.

Has a developed philosophy of public policy: no

A "Greenie": no. Turned Wasilla into a wasteland of big box stores and disconnected parking lots. Is pro-drilling off-shore and in ANWR.

Fiscal conservative: not by my definition!

Pro-infrastructure: No. Promoted a sports complex and park in a city without a sewage treatment plant or storm drainage system. Built streets to early 20th century standards.

Pro-tax relief: Lowered taxes for businesses, increased tax burden on residents

Pro-small government: No. Oversaw greatest expansion of city government in Wasilla's history.

Pro-labor/pro-union. No. Just because her husband works union doesn't make her pro-labor. I have seen nothing to support any claim that she is pro-labor/pro-union.

WHY AM I WRITING THIS?

First, I have long believed in the importance of being an informed voter. I am a voter registrar. For 10 years I put on student voting programs in the schools. If you google my name (intentionally deleted by me) you will find references to my participation in local government, education, and PTA/parent organizations.

Secondly, I've always operated in the belief that "Bad things happen when good people stay silent". Few people know as much as I do because few have gone to as many City Council meetings.

Third, I am just a housewife. I don't have a job she can bump Came out of. I don't belong to any organization that she can hurt. But, I am no fool; she is immensely popular here, and it is likely that this will cost me somehow in the future: that's life.

Fourth, she has hated me since back in 1996, when I was one of the 100 or so people who rallied to support the City Librarian against Sarah's attempt at censorship. Fifth, I looked around and
realized that everybody else was afraid to say anything because they were somehow vulnerable.

CAVEATS

I am not a statistician. I developed the numbers for the increase in spending & taxation 2 years ago (when Palin was running for Governor) from information supplied to me by the Finance Director of the City of Wasilla, and I can't recall exactly what I adjusted for: did I adjust for inflation? for population increases? Right now, it is impossible for a private person to get any info out of City Hall--they are swamped. So I can't verify my numbers.

You may have noticed that there are various numbers circulating for the population of Wasilla, ranging from my "about 5,000", up to 9,000. The day Palin's selection was announced a city official told me that the current population is about 7,000. The official 2000 census count was 5,460. I have used about 5,000 because Palin was Mayor from 1996 to 2002, and the city was growing rapidly in the mid-90's.

AK
Alaska