Bum on Train Platform (as I'm putting tokens in the ticket machine): Hey, lady, if I give you my [expired] ticket, will you give me your change?
Me: Uh...sorry, I've already put in my money.
Bum: Well, take your money out! I have a good [expired] ticket here that you can have. I gotta get something to eat (…as he takes a long draw off his cigarette).
Me: Already got my ticket, but thanks anyway.
Bum: Pbbbbhhhtttt….UGLY! (stomps off)
...I love this city.