Thursday, September 25, 2008

She should be let out of the closet more often, don't you think?

Sarah Palin has a traveling press corp that goes with her everywhere she goes, but she's never taken questions from them since her acceptance as McCain's right-hand (wo)man. Never ever. But, today she was permitted to break the silence! Let's see what riveting, thought-provoking answers she came up with to the 4 questions HER press corp was allowed to ask...

CNN: On the topic of never letting this happen again [September 11 terrorist attacks in NY], do you agree with the way the Bush administration has handled the war on terrorism, is there anything you would do differently?

Very good question CNN Guy, let's see the governor's response...she's well-versed in foreign policy. Oh wait, damn, nevermind...that's Hillary. My bad. Honest mistake. You know, them having the same plumbing and I'm a moron that only wants a woman in the White House no matter their points of view or positions on the issues, it's easy to get them mixed up. Duh. I'm just a silly woman, don't pay me any mind.

PALIN: I agree with the Bush administration that we take the fight to them. We never again let them come onto our soil and try to destroy not only our democracy, but communities like the community of New York. Never again. So yes, I do agree with taking the fight to the terrorists and stopping them over there.

Huh? I'm sorry, did she answer the question? Let's read that again.... Hmmm, like 1/16 of it resembles an answer to a question, but not the one that was asked. Let's analyze. This is a two part question: Do you agree with the Bush Administration's handling of the war on terror? Potential answer: Yes or No. Ok, she said "Yes, I do agree with taking the fight to the terrorists and stopping them over there." Ok, Sarah, that's not what he asked you. Let's go over this again, I think your french twist is too tight. He asked you if you agreed with the Bush Administration's handling. So, you only agree with one aspect of Bush's handling, that they shouldn't be permitted to attack us again. Yeah, that's a good idea. Did you come up with that one on your own? Call the Pentagon, she's figured it out boys! But, you answered a question CNN Guy didn't ask. And, you're forgetting the second part of the question: Is there anything you would do differently? Care to take stab at it? Don't hurt yourself, I wouldn't want your big hair to burst into flames. No? Ok, let's move on...that was painful, I know.

POLITICO: Do you think our presence in Iraq and Afghanistan and our continued presence there is inflaming Islamic extremists?

Again, an excellent point, Politco Guy. No wonder these guys are political journalists following the Republican VP nominee around, to ask the tough questions! Ms. Palin, your thoughts? (*This is kind of a stupid and pointless question and we all know the answer to it, but let's see how she responds.*)

PALIN: I think our presence in Iraq and Afghanistan will lead to further security of our nation, again, because the mission is to take the fight over there. Do not let them come over here and attempt again what they accomplished here, and that was some destruction. Terrible destruction on that day. But since September 11, Americans uniting and rebuilding and committing to never letting that happen again.

Uh huh...ok. Uh....can you speak and understand English? Just curious. I think we're aware of your feelings regarding you not wanting the terrorists to come back over here. We get it, I don't want them back either. But, do you think our presence in Iraq/Afghanistan is inflaming the nutjobs over there? In other words, is it pissing them off? This is another good example of a Yes or No question. And, it's not a two-partner, so she should have had no problem answering it directly. You're batting a thousand Governor. Do the words "jihad" and "evil western devils" mean anything to you? I'm going to take a stab at this one for you, you look flustered. Uh hem...yes, I think our presence in Iraq/Afghanistan is inflaming Islamic extremists. PHEW! Lookie there, I answered a question and didn't spontaneously combust! Kick ass.

POLITICO: Do you support the reelection bids of embattled Alaska Republicans, Rep. Don Young and Sen. Ted Stevens?

Yeah, those two are screwed, both being charged with corruption, taking bribes and gifts from big oil companies, etc. So, let's see how Gov. Lipstick Bulldog answers this one. Remember, this is ALSO a Yes or No question....Governor?

PALIN: Ted Stevens trial started a couple days ago. We’ll see where that goes.

What the f*** does that mean? Ok, let's backtrack. At least one-half of this is an easy No. Simply because, as a matter of FACT, Gov. Palin actually endorsed Rep. Young's opponent, Lt. Gov. Sean Parnell in the Alaskan primary. So, Or, you're going to see how the trial plays out before you make a decision and then choose sides? I gotcha. Good move. Non-committal. Go with that, it seems be convincing the moronic masses you know what you're doing.

POLITICO: Are you gong to vote for them?

Yes, are you?

PALIN: [no answer]


JERSEY JOURNAL: What do you think of bailout package before Congress?

Loves it! Of course she!! Who doesn't, really? (*Yeah, I don't, but that's neither here nor there.*)

PALIN: I don't support that until the provisions that Sen. McCain has offered are implemented in Paulson's proposals.

Oh, wait...spoke too soon. So, what you're saying is you do not support the $700 BILLION bailout package for all the investment companies that sqaundered billions of dollars in bad investments at all unless your "boss" gets his perfect special way with its provisions? Who's your daddy, Sarah? Who's your daddy!?

3:45 a.m.

Maddi: Aunt Melissa, you'd tell me if you were a werewolf, wouldn't you?

Me: Of course, Maddi. What's the matter?

Maddi: I had a dream about werewolves, so I came in here to sleep with you. I'm just checking to make sure it's safe.

Me: Ok, Maddi. Everything is ok. Go to sleep.

Maddi: Is mommy a werewolf?

Me: Not as far as I know. (*stupid answer*)

Maddi: How far is that?

Me: She's not a werewolf, sweetie. Let's go to sleep.

Maddi: Is Sammy (their dog) a werewolf?

Me: Oh Maddi, no one in this house is a werewolf. I promise. Have I ever broken a promise to you?

Maddi: No. But, Sammy bites me when I pick him up sometimes...and...maybe he IS a werewolf in disguise..........

I can't remember the rest of the conversation, I dozed off. Maddi was sound asleep in mommy werewolf's bed this morning. I heart her.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

"The Truth About Sarah Palin"

Rolling Stone Magazine
"The Truth About Sarah Palin"
by Tim Dickinson
October 2, 2008

Sarah Palin's credentials as a "reformer" are nothing but spin. She has sided with Big Oil, lobbied to increase pork spending and abused her public power to carry out personal vendettas. Here's a guide to separating myth from fact.

THE MYTH: "She took the luxury jet that was acquired by her predecessor and sold it on eBay. And made a profit!" — John McCain, at a campaign stop in Wisconsin
THE FACTS: No one bought the jet online. It was eventually sold through an aircraft broker — at a loss to taxpayers of nearly $600,000.

THE MYTH: "I told the Congress 'Thanks, but no thanks' on that Bridge to Nowhere." — Sarah Palin, convention speech
THE FACTS: Supported the infamous pork project in her 2006 run for governor, even after Congress had killed the bridge; derided its opponents as "spinmeisters." Reversed her stance a year later — but kept the money, doling out the $223 million in federal funds to other pork projects throughout the state.

THE MYTH: "We ... championed reform to end the abuses of earmark spending by Congress." — Sarah Palin, convention speech
THE FACTS: As mayor, employed a lobbyist who also worked for Jack Abramoff to secure $27 million in pork spending for Wasilla — more than $4,000 per resident. In her two years as governor, requested $453 million in earmarks. Alaska ranks first in the nation for pork, raking in seven times the national average.

THE MYTH: "I found ... someone who stopped government from wasting taxpayers' money." — John McCain, introducing Palin
THE FACTS: Signature accomplishment as mayor: building a $15 million hockey arena that plunged the city into debt. Broke ground on the project without finalizing the city's purchase of the land; the resulting fiasco cost Wasilla $1.3 million — roughly $200 per resident.

THE MYTH: "Our opponents say, again and again, that drilling will not solve all of America's energy problems — as if we didn't know that already." — Sarah Palin, convention speech
THE FACTS: "I beg to disagree with any candidate who would say we can't drill our way out of our problem." — Sarah Palin, July 2008

THE MYTH: "We began a nearly $40 billion natural-gas pipeline to help lead America to energy independence." — Sarah Palin, convention speech
THE FACTS: With federal approval years away, not a single section of the pipeline has been laid. State could end up paying the pipeline's contractor $500 million — even if it never breaks ground on the project.

THE MYTH: "She's from a small town with small-town values." — Fred Thompson, convention speech
THE FACTS: Wasilla and the surrounding valley recently named the meth capital of Alaska, with 42 meth labs busted in a single year.

THE MYTH: Palin has "taken on the political establishment in the largest state of the union." — Fred Thompson, convention speech
THE FACTS: Served until 2005 as director of fundraising group associated with indicted senator Ted Stevens.

THE MYTH: "She's fought oil companies." — John McCain, introducing Palin
THE FACTS: Collected $13,000 in campaign contributions from oil and gas lobbyists, including Exxon, BP, Shell and Chevron. BP was a sponsor of her inaugural ball.

THE MYTH: "She's been to Kuwait. She's been over there. She has been with her troops. The National Guard that she commands, who have been over there and had the experience." — John McCain, highlighting Palin's national-security credentials
THE FACTS: Never had a passport before 2007, when she made a brief photo-op trip to visit troops in Germany and Kuwait. Has never been to Iraq, and has not met a single foreign head of state.

THE MYTH: "I have protected the taxpayers by vetoing wasteful spending." — Sarah Palin, convention speech
THE FACTS: As governor, sought travel reimbursement for 312 nights she spent in her own home.

Palin Factiods

For those of you that need a little factiod backup, I've found some interesting websites/blogs/newspaper articles regarding Gov. Palin and her...uh hem...record. ENJOY.

A few Palin scandalous facts...

Great NY Times article...

Sherry Whitstine's official blog...

This is my favorite. Wonder how many of these questions she could actually answer and it be an ANSWER, not posturing words with something that sounds something like a coherent thought...

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Northwest Arkansas Crime Report

7:38 a.m. - A man at Harps, 1308 N. Thompson St., reported a man who had been banned from the store trespassing on the property.
Wanting some Hamburger Helper and Spam is not a crime...but it should be. YAK!

8:13 a.m. - A woman at 2301 S. W. Second St. reported her husband causing problems.
Seriously? It's 8:00 in the morning, make him some corn flakes and coffee and send him on his way. Then, leave. If he's such a nuisence that you feel compelled to call the POLICE, leave him.

8:59 a.m. - A woman at 2301 S. W. Second St. reported her husband banging on the door and yelling.
Please note this report was made at the same address...45 minutes later. People are morons...

4:16 p.m. - A woman at 2002 S. W. Fir Ave. reported someone left a note in the information tube outside her house that is for sale.
What did it say? What did it say???

11: 37 p.m. - A woman at 5 Holly Drive reported someone keeps ringing the doorbell.
Don't you have a peep hole? It's probably a Jehovah's Witness. Just tell them you're Catholic, they'll go away questions.

11:17 p.m. - A woman at 402 Southpointe Ave. reported her ex-boyfriend violated a protective order by text-messaging her.
CHANGE…YOUR…PHONE…NUMBER. People are morons…

Friday, September 12, 2008

Be An Informed Voter

I friend of mine forwarded this to me. It's provocative and subjective. The author sounds fairly informed in state and local politics. I have deleted her name and replaced it with her initials...there are kooks out there. Also, I have looked up some of the facts she mentions and have found them to be accurate. I don't care for Sarah Palin in the least, but I believe everyone has the duty to be an informed voter. If this message moves you to find out more about Gov. Palin, then it's accomplished what I intended it to.

I'm reading a book right now, "Time Enough for Love" by Robert Heinlein, and it has a very interesting and relavant statement with regards to this particular issue: "If you are part of a society that votes, then do so. There may be no candidates or no measures you want to vote for...but there are certain to be ones you want to vote against."
I agree with this wholeheartedly. Be informed...

Dear Friends,

So many people have asked me about what I know about Sarah Palin in the last 2 days that I decided to write something up... Basically, Sarah Palin and Hillary Clinton have only 2 things in common: their gender and their good looks. You have my permission to forward this to your friends/email contacts with my name and email address attached, but please do not post it on any websites, as there are too many kooks out there...



I am a resident of Wasilla, Alaska. I have known Sarah since 1992. Everyone here knows Sarah, so it is nothing special to say we are on a first-name basis. Our children have attended the same schools. Her father was my child's favorite substitute teacher. I also am on a first name basis with her parents and mother-in-law. I attended more City Council meetings during her administration than about 99% of the residents of the city.

She is enormously popular; in every way she's like the most popular girl in middle school. Even men who think she is a poor choice and won't vote for her can't quit smiling when talking about her because she is a "babe".

It is astonishing and almost scary how well she can keep a secret. She kept her most recent pregnancy a secret from her children and parents for seven months.

She is "pro-life". She recently gave birth to a Down's syndrome baby. There is no cover-up involved, here; Trig is her baby.

She is energetic and hardworking. She regularly worked out at the gym.

She is savvy. She doesn't take positions; she just "puts things out there" and if they prove to be popular, then she takes credit. Her husband works a union job on the North Slope for BP and is a champion snowmobile racer. Todd Palin's kind of job is highly sought-after because of the schedule and high pay. He arranges his work schedule so he can fish for salmon in Bristol Bay for a month or so in summer, but by no stretch of the imagination is fishing their major source of income. Nor has her life-style ever been anything like that of native Alaskans.

Sarah and her whole family are avid hunters.

She's smart.

Her experience is as mayor of a city with a population of about 5,000 (at the time), and less than 2 years as governor of a state with about 670,000 residents.

During her mayoral administration most of the actual work of running this small city was turned over to an administrator. She had been pushed to hire this administrator by party power-brokers after she had gotten herself into some trouble over precipitous firings which had given rise to a recall campaign.

Sarah campaigned in Wasilla as a "fiscal conservative". During her 6 years as Mayor, she increased general government expenditures by over 33%. During those same 6 years the amount of taxes collected by the City increased by 38%. This was during a period of low inflation (1996-2002). She reduced progressive property taxes and increased a regressive sales tax which taxed even food. The tax cuts that she promoted benefited large corporate property owners way more than they benefited residents.

The huge increases in tax revenues during her mayoral administration weren't enough to fund everything on her wish list though, borrowed money was needed, too. She inherited a city with zero debt, but left it with indebtedness of over $22 million. What did Mayor Palin encourage the voters to borrow money for? Was it the infrastructure that she said she supported? The sewage treatment plant that the city lacked? or a new library? No. $1m for a park. $15m-plus for construction of a multi-use sports complex which she rushed through to build on a piece of property that the City didn't even have clear title to, that was still in litigation 7 yrs later--to the delight of the lawyers involved! The sports complex itself is a nice addition to the community but a huge money pit, not the profit-generator she claimed it would be. She also supported bonds for $5.5m for road projects that could have been done in 5-7 yrs without any borrowing.

While Mayor, City Hall was extensively remodeled and her office redecorated more than once.

These are small numbers, but Wasilla is a very small city.

As an oil producer, the high price of oil has created a budget surplus in Alaska. Rather than invest this surplus in technology that will make us energy independent and increase efficiency, as Governor she proposed distribution of this surplus to every individual in the state. In this time of record state revenues and budget surpluses, she recommended that the state borrow/bond for road projects, even while she proposed distribution of surplus state revenues: spend today's surplus,borrow for needs.

She's not very tolerant of divergent opinions or open to outside ideas or compromise. As Mayor, she fought ideas that weren't generated by her or her staff. Ideas weren't evaluated on their merits, but on the basis of who proposed them.

While Sarah was Mayor of Wasilla she tried to fire our highly respected City Librarian because the Librarian refused to consider removing from the library some books that Sarah wanted removed. City residents rallied to the defense of the City Librarian and against Palin's attempt at out-and-out censorship, so Palin backed down and withdrew her termination letter. People who fought her attempt to oust the Librarian are on her enemies list to this day.

Sarah complained about the "old boy's club" when she first ran for Mayor, so what did she bring Wasilla? A new set of "old boys". Palin fired most of the experienced staff she inherited. At the City and as Governor she hired or elevated new, inexperienced, obscure people, creating a staff totally dependent on her for their jobs and eternally grateful and fiercely loyal--loyal to the point of abusing their power to further her personal agenda, as she has acknowledged happened in the case of pressuring the State's top cop (see below).

As Mayor, Sarah fired Wasilla's Police Chief because he "intimidated" her, she told the press. As Governor, her recent firing of Alaska's top cop has the ring of familiarity about it. He served at her pleasure and she had every legal right to fire him, but it's pretty clear that an important factor in her decision to fire him was because he wouldn't fire her sister's ex-husband, a State Trooper. Under investigation for abuse of power, she has had to admit that more than 2 dozen contacts were made between her staff and family to the person that she later fired,pressuring him to fire her ex-brother-in-law. She tried to replace the man she fired with a man who she knew had been reprimanded for sexual harassment; when this caused a public furor, she withdrew her support.

She has bitten the hand of every person who extended theirs to her in help. The City Council person who personally escorted her around town introducing her to voters when she first ran for Wasilla City Council became one of her first targets when she was later elected Mayor. She abruptly fired her loyal City Administrator; even people who didn't like the guy were stunned by this ruthlessness.

Fear of retribution has kept all of these people from saying anything publicly about her.

When then-Governor Murkowski was handing out political plums, Sarah got the best, Chair of the Alaska Oil and Gas Conservation Commission: one of the few jobs not in Juneau and one of the best paid. She had no background in oil & gas issues. Within months of scoring this great job which paid $122,400/yr, she was complaining in the press about the high salary. I was told that she hated that job: the commute, the structured hours, the work. Sarah became aware that a member of this Commission (who was also the State Chair of the Republican Party) engaged in unethical behavior on the job. In a gutsy move which some undoubtedly cautioned her could be political suicide, Sarah solved all her problems in one fell swoop: got out of the job she hated and garnered gobs of media attention as the patron saint of ethics and as a gutsy fighter against the "old boys' club" when she dramatically quit, exposing this man's ethics violations (for which he was fined).

As Mayor, she had her hand stuck out as far as anyone for pork from Senator Ted Stevens. Lately, she has castigated his pork-barrel politics and publicly humiliated him. She only opposed the "bridge to nowhere" after it became clear that it would be unwise not to.

As Governor, she gave the Legislature no direction and budget guidelines, then made a big grandstand display of line-item vetoing projects, calling them pork. Public outcry and further legislative action restored most of these projects--which had been vetoed simply because she was not aware of their importance--but with the unobservant she had gained a reputation as "anti-pork".

She is solidly Republican: no political maverick. The State party leaders hate her because she has bit them in the back and humiliated them. Other members of the party object to herself-description as a fiscal conservative.

Around Wasilla there are people who went to high school with Sarah. They call her "Sarah Barracuda" because of her unbridledambition and predatory ruthlessness. Before she became so powerful, very ugly stories circulated around town about shenanigans she pulled to be made point guard on the high school basketball team.

When Sarah's mother-in-law, a highly respected member of the community and experienced manager, ran for Mayor, Sarah refused to endorse her.

As Governor, she stepped outside of the box and put together of package of legislation known as "AGIA" that forced the oil companies to march to the beat of her drum.

Like most Alaskans, she favors drilling in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge. She has questioned if the loss of sea ice is linked to global warming. She campaigned "as a private citizen" against a state initiaitive that would have either a) protected salmon streams from pollution from mines, or b) tied up in the courts all mining in the state (depending on who you listen to). She has pushed the State's lawsuit against the Dept. of the Interior's decision to list polar bears as threatened species.

McCain is the oldest person to ever run for President; Sarah will be a heartbeat away from being President. There has to be literally millions of Americans who are more knowledgeable and experienced than she. However, there's a lot of people who have underestimated her and are regretting it.


Hockey mom: true, for a few years

PTA mom: true, years ago when her first-born was in elementary school, not since

NRA supporter: absolutely true

Social conservative: mixed. Opposes gay marriage, BUT vetoed a bill that would have denied benefits to employees in same-sex relationships (said she did this because it was unconsitutional).

Pro-creationism: mixed. Supports it, BUT did nothing as Governor to promote it.

Pro-life: mixed. Knowingly gave birth to a Down's syndrome baby BUT declined to call a special legislative session on some pro-life legislation

Experienced: Some high schools have more students than Wasilla has residents. Many cities have more residents than the state of Alaska. No legislative experience other than City Council. Little hands-on supervisory or managerial experience; needed help of a city administrator to run town of about 5,000.

Political maverick: not at all

Gutsy: absolutely!

Open & transparent: ??? Good at keeping secrets. Not good at explaining actions.

Has a developed philosophy of public policy: no

A "Greenie": no. Turned Wasilla into a wasteland of big box stores and disconnected parking lots. Is pro-drilling off-shore and in ANWR.

Fiscal conservative: not by my definition!

Pro-infrastructure: No. Promoted a sports complex and park in a city without a sewage treatment plant or storm drainage system. Built streets to early 20th century standards.

Pro-tax relief: Lowered taxes for businesses, increased tax burden on residents

Pro-small government: No. Oversaw greatest expansion of city government in Wasilla's history.

Pro-labor/pro-union. No. Just because her husband works union doesn't make her pro-labor. I have seen nothing to support any claim that she is pro-labor/pro-union.


First, I have long believed in the importance of being an informed voter. I am a voter registrar. For 10 years I put on student voting programs in the schools. If you google my name (intentionally deleted by me) you will find references to my participation in local government, education, and PTA/parent organizations.

Secondly, I've always operated in the belief that "Bad things happen when good people stay silent". Few people know as much as I do because few have gone to as many City Council meetings.

Third, I am just a housewife. I don't have a job she can bump Came out of. I don't belong to any organization that she can hurt. But, I am no fool; she is immensely popular here, and it is likely that this will cost me somehow in the future: that's life.
Fourth, she has hated me since back in 1996, when I was one of the 100 or so people who rallied to support the City Librarian against Sarah's attempt at censorship. Fifth, I looked around and
realized that everybody else was afraid to say anything because they were somehow vulnerable.


I am not a statistician. I developed the numbers for the increase in spending & taxation 2 years ago (when Palin was running for Governor) from information supplied to me by the Finance Director of the City of Wasilla, and I can't recall exactly what I adjusted for: did I adjust for inflation? for population increases? Right now, it is impossible for a private person to get any info out of City Hall--they are swamped. So I can't verify my numbers.

You may have noticed that there are various numbers circulating for the population of Wasilla, ranging from my "about 5,000", up to 9,000. The day Palin's selection was announced a city official told me that the current population is about 7,000. The official 2000 census count was 5,460. I have used about 5,000 because Palin was Mayor from 1996 to 2002, and the city was growing rapidly in the mid-90's.


Thursday, September 11, 2008

Gone, but not forgotten...

A moment of silence please...September 11, 2001

Pig Sooie Update

The embarassing defeat that Texas was scheduled to endure this Saturday on their home field by my beloved Hogs has been postponed until September 27. Friggin sweet!! Not only was it going to be POURING rain in Austin this weekend, with gale-force winds from Hurricane Ike, but my sister wasn't going to be able to make it. Now, she can go and hopefully the weather won't suck! STOKED.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Northwest Arkansas Crime Report

3:13 p.m. A woman on Candleglow Road, Gentry, reported an assault and theft of money.
Trick, I tol' you gimme my money!

7:44 p.m. A woman at 601 S. W. Pearl Drive reported someone crawled through her ceiling, threw toys on the floor and took bacon out of the refrigerator and left it on the counter.
Damn foster kids…that $200 a month isn't worth it.

10:23 a.m. A man at 902 N. E. Halifax Place reported a vehicle break-in and a college class ring and cell phone stolen.
**Not long after this was posted, the young man cut his mullet and shaved his molest-ache. He couldn't very well sport them without his class ring, could he? Shortly after that, he got laid. True story.**

12:37 p.m. A woman on Braithwaite Street reported her husband’s ex-wife told her children she was going to walk in front of a car.
Forgive me for saying this, but it's one less thing to worry about regarding the ready-made family you married into, isn't it?

2:27 p.m. A woman at 1600 N. E. John DeShields Blvd. reported an erratic driver at a construction site near the soccer fields.
This is Sam and Jen getting Paolo to the big game…you know it is. Freaks.

5:40 p.m. A man at 1959 Stanton reported a TV and computer stolen.
Great, now how is he going to watch porn and catch up on missed episodes of Gossip Girl and One Tree Hill?? Biffed!

5:57 p.m. A woman on West Walnut Street reported being harassed.
Tea Bag still making the day's collections…bitch, I tol' you gimme my money!!

7:12 p.m. A caller at Knight Time Tattoo, 1601 W. Walnut St., reported a disturbance.
A disturbance at the tattoo parlor? Seriously? Find the irony....

Old Habits Die Hard

I had a sort of epiphany last night. You see, I am a fairly outspoken individual, especially when it comes to matters that I am passionate about, i.e., my family, politics, morals, etc. However, in the 4 years I was with my ex-husband, I "trained" my mind and my heart to give in when I knew I couldn't win or even get very far. For example, if he and I were disagreeing or if I could see the slightest hint of frustration or confrontation with him, I would shut down and agree. This was very hard for me to do and it made my stomach knot up, because I'm naturally candid and in the past have had no problems expressing my displeasure or disagreement in another's conduct or point of view. But, he was incredibly manipulative and self-centered. The world and everyone in it revolved around him and if he didn't get his perfect way it wouldn't be a very good day for anyone. So, as it were, I forced myself to give-in whenever and wherever necessary to maintain peace in our home. Superficial peace, but peace nonetheless. I know habits are hard to break, but I was hoping to break this one fairly easily since it goes against my temperament. Well, I realized last night as I was talking to a friend of mine, a male friend mind you, that I still do this. At least I do with men, not so much or at all with women. I was so pissed at myself for allowing my ex-husband to control me and my mentality months after leaving him.

The incident was rather minor, but it irritated me that I couldn't control it when it happened. But, I did recognize it, so that's a good first step. I was talking to my friend about something insignificant and he says "Ok, I'm going to go now." He didn't realize he had cut me off, but I noticed it and I was irrationally irritated. Blame it on me not feeling well lately because of my allergies, or that I was tired, or simply wanted to chat a little longer. The reason behind a woman's temper is one even I can't answer sometimes, and this was one of those times. So, instead of telling him, "That's cool, let me finish this story/thought/sentence first," I simply shut down. Completely. He was confused, understandably, and confronted me regarding my sudden coolness towards him. As soon as it happened, I realized what I was doing, but it took him several minutes for him to get it out of me. I am very grateful he persisted because it made me look at myself and see my personality that I had mutated to fit someone else's idea of what I should have been. It was a defense mechanism to protect myself from feeling like I was worthless, which was how my ex-husband made me feel most of the time. Now that I realize that I'm still reverting back to my false personality, perhaps I can take steps to avoid the traits the made me someone I didn't like.

I am damaged, but not broken…

Monday, September 8, 2008

Should I go ahead and exhale?

I have these kick ass tickets to the Univ. of Arkansas v. Univ. of Texas game this Saturday in Austin. My new boss gave them to me, so of course I there's no way I would turn them down. My sister wanted to go with me, and I was totally down with it and completely stoked, until her mother-in-law decided this weekend was the absolute best weekend to come to Dallas and get her hair my sister. Grrr. Don't bother asking if it was a good weekend or whether or not anyone had plans, just come on down. Sweet. You're awesome. (Note to self: Do NOT do this to your future kids, unless I want to torture them.)

So, now I have the aforementioned kick ass tickets and no one to go to the damn game with me. Seriously, I have never had a problem trying to find someone to go to a FOOTBALL game. Granted, I live 6 hours south of 99% of my friends and they have lives too (pshaw!), but this totally blows. The one awesome friend I've made in Dallas can't go because he has to work, which I understand (pshaw!).

If anyone is interested in going with me, I'm still going...albeit alone. Go HOGS.

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Natural Highs

A friend of mine sent this to me since I've been in a funk the last few days. It made me smile.

1. Falling in love.
2. Laughing so hard your face hurts.
3. A hot shower.
4. No lines at the supermarket.
5. A special glance.
6. Getting a letter in the mail.
7. Taking a drive on a country road.
8. Hearing your favorite song on the radio.
9. Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.
10. Hot towels fresh out of the dryer.
11. Chocolate milkshake (vanilla or strawberry ).
12. A bubble bath.
13. Giggling.
14. A good conversation.
15. The beach.
16. Finding a $20 in your coat from last winter.
17. Laughing at yourself.
18. Looking into their eyes and knowing they love you.
19. Midnight phone calls that last for hours.
20. Running through sprinklers.
21. Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.
22. Having someone tell you that you're beautiful.
23. Laughing at an inside joke with friends.
24. Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you.
25. Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep.
26. Your first kiss with someone new.
27. Making new friends or spending time with old ones.
28. Playing with a new puppy.
29. Having someone play with your hair.
30. Sweet dreams.
31. Hot chocolate.
32. Road trips with friends.
33. Swinging on swings.
34. Making eye contact with a cute stranger.
35. Making chocolate chip cookies.
36. Having your friends send you homemade cookies.
37. Holding hands with someone you care about.
38. Running into an old friend and realizing that some things (good or bad) never change.
39. Watching the expression on someone's face as they open a much desired present from you.
40. Watching the sunset.
41. Getting out of bed every morning and being grateful for another beautiful day.
42. Knowing that somebody misses you.
43. Getting a hug from someone you care about deeply.
44. Knowing you've done the right thing, no matter what other people think.

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

No glove, no love...

I heard on the news this morning that Gov. Sarah Palin's, the next potential vice-president (Lord, help us if that comes to fruition), daughter, 17-year-old Bristol, is KNOCKED UP. Wow. And, has been for 5 months. Really, how does a severe right-wing conservative Evangelical Christian folk hero have a 17-year-old pregnant daughter? My theory is she told her daughter to abstain from sex instead of showing her how to be safe about sex. I agree that teenagers should not have sex. Been there, done that and it wasn't that great. I think most of us can agree on that. But, to actually delude yourself into thinking that teens with raging hormones (you remember, I know you do) aren't going to have sex simply because you tell them not to is utterly naive and, quite frankly, really stupid. Maybe if little Bristol would have been more educated about sex, or perhaps been on BC, she wouldn't be a teen mom. All I can say is good luck, you will need it, sister.