Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Northwest Arkansas Crime Report

10:37 a.m. - A man at 12656 Pioneer Lane in Gentry reported his ex-wife tried to steal electronics from him.
I swear, I was in Texas! Can't pin that on me!

7:08 a.m. - A man at 1501 N.E. Wildcat Way reported money taken during a burglary.
Seriously? Money taken during a burglary? Hmmm...

9:46 a.m. - A man with Cooper Power Systems, 3660 S. School Ave., reported a female employee hit the plant manager.
Beat his ass, Norma Rae!

8:26 p.m. - A woman at 750 S. 40th St. reported her daughter causing problems.
This is a new one...kids causing their parents problems. Oh, I know! I'll call the cops, then she'll be sorry.

4:08 a.m. - A man at Action Computers, 1811 Westwood Ave., reported he woke up to find his vehicle dome light on and the engine running.
Dude, stop smoking pot in the back room of Action Computers at 4am.

Monday, December 15, 2008

Drunk with Power

I have recently fallen behind on the thought-provoking diatribes about all that surrounds me. I have no excuse, I was distracted and someone told me it was "lame." Subsequently, this naysayer has been kicked out of the circle of trust...permanently. Not because they called my blog lame, but for other, more serious transgressions. Just trust me. Moving on...

There have been so many interesting developments of human ridiculousness, that I can barely pick a topic. Let's see...ah yes, Blagojevich.

Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich's bizarre wire-tapped rantings about how much he could get for President-Elect Obama's vacant Senate seat are stupendous. This man has obviously been knocked around a few too many times by the Chicago underground. Seems like G-Rod should've taken heed to the warnings he received regarding the FBI tapping of his phones. It seems Illinois doesn't breed the most righteous politicians...six of the last nine Illinois governors have been convicted, tried or charged with crimes. Perhaps they should try a different line of work because they don't appear to be very good at being either a politician or a criminal.

Friday, November 14, 2008

Bushisms

As much as we're going to miss George W. Bush when he leaves office January 20th, we're going to miss his misuse of the English language and the SNL skits of his fumblings even more. Here are a few "Bushisms" to keep you warm.

"I'm conservative, but I'm not a nut about it."

"As Luce reminded me, he said, without data, without facts, without information, the discussions about public education mean that a person is just another opinion." - September 9, 2003

"We are ready for any unforeseen event which may or may not happen."

"There's an old saying in Tennessee -- I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee...that says, fool me once, shame on...shame on you. Fool me...you can't get fooled again." - September 17, 2002

"I mean, there needs to be a wholesale effort against racial profiling, which is illiterate children."

"A lame duck session, for people who don't know what that means, it means the Senate is coming and the House is coming back between now and Christmas and they've got a few days to get some big things done." - November 7, 2002

"Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?"

"I was proud the other day when both Republicans and Democrats stood with me in the Rose Garden to announce their support for a clear statement of purpose, "You disarm, or we will." - October 5, 2002

"Whether or not it needed to happen, I'm still convinced it needed to happen." [explaining why he sent U.S. troops into Iraq] - December 12, 2005

"One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures."

"Too many good docs are getting out of business. Too many OB/GYN's aren't able to practice their, their love with women all across this country."

"You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test."

"If you find a neighbor in need, you're responsible for serving that neighbor in need, you're responsible for loving a neighbor just like you'd like to love yourself." - November 16, 2002

"We cannot let terrorists hold this nation hostile or hold our allies hostile."

"I glance at the headlines just to kind of get a flavor for what's moving. I rarely read the stories, and get briefed by people who are probably read the news themselves." - September 21, 2003

"Will the highways on the Internet become more few?"

"The administration I'll bring is a group of men and women who are focused on what's best for America, honest men and women, decent men and women, women who will see service to our country as a great privilege and who will not stain the house."

"In my sentences I go where no man has gone before."

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Tuck Fexas: Part Deux

I went to the DMV again today, birth certificate in hand. I was on a mission. Upon arrival, I stood in the same line as the rest of the other people that had better things to do than stand in that line. I get to the front, finally, and the woman asks me, "Do you have your birth certificate?"

"Yes!", I said triumphantly.

She gathered all my paperwork then stopped short. "What's the matter?", I said, feeling my cheeks flush. She said, "Your Arkansas license expired on Monday." I said "Ok, that was only day before yesterday and you were closed yesterday. Is there a penalty for it being expired? I can pay it if there is." She said, "No, there's no penalty, but you're going to have to take the WRITTEN AND DRIVING EXAM. Here is a list of offices that you can call and get an appointment with to take the tests. Oh, and here's a manual. Study, study. NEXT."

Stunned doesn't begin to describe what I was feeling. I wanted to choke a bitch, but I maintained. I stared at her blankly. My voice left me. I took the paperwork and staggered out of the office in a haze of bewilderment. Did she just tell me that I have to take a driving test? For real?

I come to as I'm walking back to my office and getting thoroughly pissed off that I have to take a driving test because my license expired 2 days ago. I haven't taken a driving test in 13 years. Frick.

I can fix this.

I get online when I get back to my office. Ah ha! I can get my Arkansas license renewed when I go to Dad's for Thanksgiving. I'll have to pay a small penalty, but that's ok, totally worth not having to take a driving test. I called the Nashville area motor vehicle office. Closed the day after Thanksgiving. Well, I'll just take the Wednesday off before Thanksgiving and get it done. No big deal.

I keep scrolling through their website. Bingo. If you work/go to school out of state, you can renew your Arkansas license BY MAIL. YES! I email the director of the "by mail" department. I was totally honest and said my license expired 2 days ago, I worked in Texas and I didn't know when I would be back in Arkansas. She said I could do it by mail. She FedEx'ing me a packet to my office to fill out and send back. All she needs is a $20 check and a vision card filled out by a physician (hello, Wal-Mart vision center). Two-day turn around.

Eat it, Texas.

Friday, November 7, 2008

Tuck Fexas

I set out to get my Texas driver's license today. I decided to schlep the 4 and a half blocks from my office to the City of Dallas building. It was a lovely afternoon for a walk, but my feet began to hurt about Neimen Marcus in my unforgiving heels on the Ervay Street sidewalks. I made it though. I'm a trooper.

Upon arrival, I stood in line for about 15 minutes, all the while looking around for any postings that list the requirements to obtain a driver's license in the Lone Star State. There were none. Surprise. However, I thought I was safe with nearly 10 pieces of identification tucked in my "Texas Driver's License" file folder (shut up). I had with me the following documents as proof of my identity (Plus, I'm a white girl with pasty white skin and a Southern accent. Seriously, I'm from here):

Arkansas driver's license
Social Security card
Marriage License
Decree of Divorce
Student ID from UA and JBU
Military Dependent ID (obselete, but it still had my name, photo, DOB and SSN on it)
Texas Vehicle Registration (obtained yesterday without incident)
Texas Voter ID Card (obtained months ago without incident)
Proof of Insurance

Unimpressed with my organization, the driver's license overseer looked at me and said, "I'm going to need your birth certificate or passport to process this request." I looked like a deer in headlights. I said, "But I have all of these documents. Surely a combination of all these will be sufficient. Look, I have a valid out-of-state driver's license and a military ID!"

Passively, she said, "I'm going to need your birth certificate or passport to process this request. NEXT."

Texas.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

THE TIME FOR CHANGE HAS COME


President-Elect Barack Obama

Monday, November 3, 2008

Thoughts on turning 29...

I am coming to grips with the reality that in about a week I will observe the last birthday of my twenties. What do I have to say about this? Bring.....it.....on. I'm ready for the next step. Those good genes that were passed down to me have helped me hang on to my youthful features. I, of course, have a few gray hairs and I can see the early stages of crow's feet. They are something to be endured. And, as Truvy would say, "Honey, time marches on, and sooner or later you'll realize it's marching across your face."

But, with age comes wisdom. I have learned a great deal during my twenties....

1. My parents are not clueless.
2. I'd rather learn things the hard way.
3. I prefer living alone.
4. The real world has its perks.
5. I love passionately and with my whole heart.
6. It's easy to become cynical, I must fight the urge.
7. I'm glad I paid attention in class.
8. I wish everyone could have a parent like my Daddy.
9. I'm loyal.
10. I'm exceptionally stubborn.
11. Beer is an acquired taste.
12. So is coffee.
13. I love them both.
14. I can count on a handful of people to be there forever.
15. I'm liberal.
16. I'm pro-choice.
17. I do not want to be rich.
18. Marriage is not the obvious next step.
19. My moral compass is almost always pointed north.
20. Politics intrigue me endlessly.
21. I could live off of Starbucks.
22. Few things are more beautiful than seeing a great artist's original work.
23. I want to be a mother.
24. I love my job and I'm good at it.
25. I'm a sucker for nineteenth century English literature.
26. I'm an impatient driver.
27. I despise going to bed angry.
28. I loathe techno and speed metal.
29. I'm addicted to NPR.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Northwest Arkansas Crime Report

11:30 a.m. A woman on Arbor Acres Road, Springdale, reported her daughter and her daughter’s husband arguing.
Meddling mothers-in-law…

8:38 a.m. A woman on West Osage Bend reported her ex-husband threatened to beat her face in.
Beat her face in? Is that technical cop talk?

6:42 p.m. A woman on South Morningside Drive reported three men in a parking lot threatening to shoot her, her brother, his wife and a friend.
Damn girl, what'd you do??

8:56 p.m. A man at 3485 W. Wedington Drive reported a set of golf clubs taken.
It was Tommy Tommerson!

10: 18 a.m. A man on Martens Drive reported his 17-year-old daughter breaking into the residence through a back window.
She just needs her Trojans, Dad. Gaw, don't freak out.

11:08 a.m. A woman at Take 2 Video, 2111 S. Old Missouri Road, reported an identity theft.
Doesn't Take 2 Video have the Couples Corner? You know…the COUPLES CORNER. *wink*

3:42 p.m. A caller at Tyson Foods, Inc., 600 Berry St., reported a theft.
Ralph, you keep a sharp eye on the chicken liver thief. He's EVERYWHERE.

5:40 p.m. A caller at the Water & Sewer Department, 526 Oak Ave., reported a theft.
What'd they steal? Nevermind.

Monday, October 20, 2008

The Impressionists

This weekend Holly, Monica and I went to the Kimbell Art Museum in Fort Worth to view a collection of works from the era of the great Impressionists. Some masters of this movement that were on display included Renior, Monet, Van Gogh, Dagas, Seurat, Toulouse-Latrec, Gauguin and several others. This is one of the reasons I was looking forward to moving to this area. It has such an amazing setting for truly remarkable exhibitions.

There were two pieces that moved me in such a way that I became enraptured. The first was Two Sisters (1881) by Renior (below). This piece is so striking. Renior's use of color, light and emotion are superb. I have seen this piece in books and in reproductions and they scarcely do it justice. The flowers on the young sister's hat are so incredibly bright and intense that you're drawn to her immediately. While the face of the older sister pulls you to stare into her eyes. The brush strokes of this piece are truly captivating. Also, a little known fact about this piece is that these two young ladies were, in fact, not related.


I got a little choked up when I was Water Lily Pond (1900) by Monet (below). The emotion evoked from me by this painting is beggaring description. This work inspired me in a way that I cannot portray it in words. I do not wish to breakdown this piece by talking about light and color, it was just simply beautiful. Probably the most beautiful painting I've ever seen.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

In Remembrance

This photo was taken a couple of months before she became ill. It is the last picture of her and I together.


This day marks the fourth anniversary of the passing of my grandmother, my Meme. She lost the battle to pancreatic cancer and being there, holding her hand, when she passed was one of the most beautiful moments of my life. I couldn't tell if she wanted to stay with her family, which were packed so tightly in her room in the ICU during those final moments, or if she was ready to break free from the pain and begin her journey to whatever is next. I know she'd missed my Papa dearly, who had passed 5 years earlier. She hadn't been the same Meme since Papa died, but she was still a tough as friggin nails. Never losing her grace under pressure; she was the glue that held our family together.

She taught me so many wonderful things throughout my childhood and early adulthood, and I attribute much of my attitude to her. She had an opinion about everything and was never too shy to say so. She always gave people the benefit of the doubt and helped any way she could. She called me her "professional student" because I had changed my major in college so many times, I could've held several degrees by then. I think she would be very proud of me now, seeing what I've gone through and accomplished, and come out of it a smarter, better, more determined woman. She taught me to be a lady, albeit a feisty lady. She had words of wisdom that resonate within me still and today I can hear her say, "Melissa, come here and sit next your Meme. Tell me what's going on with you."

She taught me so much, but some of the most important lessons I remember are: don't take shit from anybody; stand behind your family no matter how much you disagree with them; never put anything in your Crown but ice or water; never leave the house without your face on; stockings should be worn in lieu of panties (to avoid lines and smooth your curves, of course); blondes have more fun; medium rare is enough for a steak; respect your family; love your sister, one of these days, you'll be best friends (she was right, of course); you can never eat too many crab legs; the faster the boat, the better; keep your hands off the clean glass doors (oh man, I can still hear her bitching about that); and be your own person.

I cannot express into words how much I miss her. She was such an influential part of my life. I commemorated her life with mine, so in celebration of her marriage to my Papa, I got married on the same day…46 years later. My marriage did not last, but the memory of that honor to her and my Papa will always be a part of me. I do not regret it for a moment.

Thank you, Meme, for helping me become the woman I am today and showing me that you can still be a lady and kick some ass. You and Papa are dearly missed. I love you.


Thursday, October 2, 2008

Don't forget to take notes!

The ONLY Vice-Presidential nominee debate of the election is tonight at 8:00 C.S.T. on ABC!! WOO HOO!!

Thursday, September 25, 2008

She should be let out of the closet more often, don't you think?

Sarah Palin has a traveling press corp that goes with her everywhere she goes, but she's never taken questions from them since her acceptance as McCain's right-hand (wo)man. Never ever. But, today she was permitted to break the silence! Let's see what riveting, thought-provoking answers she came up with to the 4 questions HER press corp was allowed to ask...

CNN: On the topic of never letting this happen again [September 11 terrorist attacks in NY], do you agree with the way the Bush administration has handled the war on terrorism, is there anything you would do differently?

Very good question CNN Guy, let's see the governor's response...she's well-versed in foreign policy. Oh wait, damn, nevermind...that's Hillary. My bad. Honest mistake. You know, them having the same plumbing and I'm a moron that only wants a woman in the White House no matter their points of view or positions on the issues, it's easy to get them mixed up. Duh. I'm just a silly woman, don't pay me any mind.

PALIN: I agree with the Bush administration that we take the fight to them. We never again let them come onto our soil and try to destroy not only our democracy, but communities like the community of New York. Never again. So yes, I do agree with taking the fight to the terrorists and stopping them over there.

Huh? I'm sorry, did she answer the question? Let's read that again.... Hmmm, like 1/16 of it resembles an answer to a question, but not the one that was asked. Let's analyze. This is a two part question: Do you agree with the Bush Administration's handling of the war on terror? Potential answer: Yes or No. Ok, she said "Yes, I do agree with taking the fight to the terrorists and stopping them over there." Ok, Sarah, that's not what he asked you. Let's go over this again, I think your french twist is too tight. He asked you if you agreed with the Bush Administration's handling. So, you only agree with one aspect of Bush's handling, that they shouldn't be permitted to attack us again. Yeah, that's a good idea. Did you come up with that one on your own? Call the Pentagon, she's figured it out boys! But, you answered a question CNN Guy didn't ask. And, you're forgetting the second part of the question: Is there anything you would do differently? Care to take stab at it? Don't hurt yourself, I wouldn't want your big hair to burst into flames. No? Ok, let's move on...that was painful, I know.

POLITICO: Do you think our presence in Iraq and Afghanistan and our continued presence there is inflaming Islamic extremists?

Again, an excellent point, Politco Guy. No wonder these guys are political journalists following the Republican VP nominee around, to ask the tough questions! Ms. Palin, your thoughts? (*This is kind of a stupid and pointless question and we all know the answer to it, but let's see how she responds.*)

PALIN: I think our presence in Iraq and Afghanistan will lead to further security of our nation, again, because the mission is to take the fight over there. Do not let them come over here and attempt again what they accomplished here, and that was some destruction. Terrible destruction on that day. But since September 11, Americans uniting and rebuilding and committing to never letting that happen again.

Uh huh...ok. Uh....can you speak and understand English? Just curious. I think we're aware of your feelings regarding you not wanting the terrorists to come back over here. We get it, I don't want them back either. But, do you think our presence in Iraq/Afghanistan is inflaming the nutjobs over there? In other words, is it pissing them off? This is another good example of a Yes or No question. And, it's not a two-partner, so she should have had no problem answering it directly. You're batting a thousand Governor. Do the words "jihad" and "evil western devils" mean anything to you? I'm going to take a stab at this one for you, you look flustered. Uh hem...yes, I think our presence in Iraq/Afghanistan is inflaming Islamic extremists. PHEW! Lookie there, I answered a question and didn't spontaneously combust! Kick ass.

POLITICO: Do you support the reelection bids of embattled Alaska Republicans, Rep. Don Young and Sen. Ted Stevens?

Yeah, those two are screwed, both being charged with corruption, taking bribes and gifts from big oil companies, etc. So, let's see how Gov. Lipstick Bulldog answers this one. Remember, this is ALSO a Yes or No question....Governor?

PALIN: Ted Stevens trial started a couple days ago. We’ll see where that goes.

What the f*** does that mean? Ok, let's backtrack. At least one-half of this is an easy No. Simply because, as a matter of FACT, Gov. Palin actually endorsed Rep. Young's opponent, Lt. Gov. Sean Parnell in the Alaskan primary. So, perhaps.....no? Or, you're going to see how the trial plays out before you make a decision and then choose sides? I gotcha. Good move. Non-committal. Go with that, it seems be convincing the moronic masses you know what you're doing.

POLITICO: Are you gong to vote for them?

Yes, are you?

PALIN: [no answer]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAAAAA!!!

JERSEY JOURNAL: What do you think of bailout package before Congress?

Loves it! Of course she does....pa~leeze!! Who doesn't, really? (*Yeah, I don't, but that's neither here nor there.*)

PALIN: I don't support that until the provisions that Sen. McCain has offered are implemented in Paulson's proposals.

Oh, wait...spoke too soon. So, what you're saying is you do not support the $700 BILLION bailout package for all the investment companies that sqaundered billions of dollars in bad investments at all unless your "boss" gets his perfect special way with its provisions? Who's your daddy, Sarah? Who's your daddy!?

3:45 a.m.

Maddi: Aunt Melissa, you'd tell me if you were a werewolf, wouldn't you?

Me: Of course, Maddi. What's the matter?

Maddi: I had a dream about werewolves, so I came in here to sleep with you. I'm just checking to make sure it's safe.

Me: Ok, Maddi. Everything is ok. Go to sleep.

Maddi: Is mommy a werewolf?

Me: Not as far as I know. (*stupid answer*)

Maddi: How far is that?

Me: She's not a werewolf, sweetie. Let's go to sleep.

Maddi: Is Sammy (their dog) a werewolf?

Me: Oh Maddi, no one in this house is a werewolf. I promise. Have I ever broken a promise to you?

Maddi: No. But, Sammy bites me when I pick him up sometimes...and...maybe he IS a werewolf in disguise..........

I can't remember the rest of the conversation, I dozed off. Maddi was sound asleep in mommy werewolf's bed this morning. I heart her.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

"The Truth About Sarah Palin"

Rolling Stone Magazine
"The Truth About Sarah Palin"
by Tim Dickinson
October 2, 2008


Sarah Palin's credentials as a "reformer" are nothing but spin. She has sided with Big Oil, lobbied to increase pork spending and abused her public power to carry out personal vendettas. Here's a guide to separating myth from fact.

THE MYTH: "She took the luxury jet that was acquired by her predecessor and sold it on eBay. And made a profit!" — John McCain, at a campaign stop in Wisconsin
THE FACTS: No one bought the jet online. It was eventually sold through an aircraft broker — at a loss to taxpayers of nearly $600,000.

THE MYTH: "I told the Congress 'Thanks, but no thanks' on that Bridge to Nowhere." — Sarah Palin, convention speech
THE FACTS: Supported the infamous pork project in her 2006 run for governor, even after Congress had killed the bridge; derided its opponents as "spinmeisters." Reversed her stance a year later — but kept the money, doling out the $223 million in federal funds to other pork projects throughout the state.

THE MYTH: "We ... championed reform to end the abuses of earmark spending by Congress." — Sarah Palin, convention speech
THE FACTS: As mayor, employed a lobbyist who also worked for Jack Abramoff to secure $27 million in pork spending for Wasilla — more than $4,000 per resident. In her two years as governor, requested $453 million in earmarks. Alaska ranks first in the nation for pork, raking in seven times the national average.

THE MYTH: "I found ... someone who stopped government from wasting taxpayers' money." — John McCain, introducing Palin
THE FACTS: Signature accomplishment as mayor: building a $15 million hockey arena that plunged the city into debt. Broke ground on the project without finalizing the city's purchase of the land; the resulting fiasco cost Wasilla $1.3 million — roughly $200 per resident.

THE MYTH: "Our opponents say, again and again, that drilling will not solve all of America's energy problems — as if we didn't know that already." — Sarah Palin, convention speech
THE FACTS: "I beg to disagree with any candidate who would say we can't drill our way out of our problem." — Sarah Palin, July 2008

THE MYTH: "We began a nearly $40 billion natural-gas pipeline to help lead America to energy independence." — Sarah Palin, convention speech
THE FACTS: With federal approval years away, not a single section of the pipeline has been laid. State could end up paying the pipeline's contractor $500 million — even if it never breaks ground on the project.

THE MYTH: "She's from a small town with small-town values." — Fred Thompson, convention speech
THE FACTS: Wasilla and the surrounding valley recently named the meth capital of Alaska, with 42 meth labs busted in a single year.

THE MYTH: Palin has "taken on the political establishment in the largest state of the union." — Fred Thompson, convention speech
THE FACTS: Served until 2005 as director of fundraising group associated with indicted senator Ted Stevens.

THE MYTH: "She's fought oil companies." — John McCain, introducing Palin
THE FACTS: Collected $13,000 in campaign contributions from oil and gas lobbyists, including Exxon, BP, Shell and Chevron. BP was a sponsor of her inaugural ball.


THE MYTH: "She's been to Kuwait. She's been over there. She has been with her troops. The National Guard that she commands, who have been over there and had the experience." — John McCain, highlighting Palin's national-security credentials
THE FACTS: Never had a passport before 2007, when she made a brief photo-op trip to visit troops in Germany and Kuwait. Has never been to Iraq, and has not met a single foreign head of state.

THE MYTH: "I have protected the taxpayers by vetoing wasteful spending." — Sarah Palin, convention speech
THE FACTS: As governor, sought travel reimbursement for 312 nights she spent in her own home.

Palin Factiods

For those of you that need a little factiod backup, I've found some interesting websites/blogs/newspaper articles regarding Gov. Palin and her...uh hem...record. ENJOY.

A few Palin scandalous facts...
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/robert-silvers/the-real-sarah-palin-scan_b_123113.html

Great NY Times article...
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/09/14/us/politics/14palin.html?_r=1&hp=&adxnnl=1&oref=slogin&adxnnlx=1222179622-k2P/yDrW9RhmBKNv3QzCDQ

Sherry Whitstine's official blog...
http://syrin.vox.com/

This is my favorite. Wonder how many of these questions she could actually answer and it be an ANSWER, not posturing words with something that sounds something like a coherent thought...
http://blog.foreignpolicy.com/node/9741

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Northwest Arkansas Crime Report

7:38 a.m. - A man at Harps, 1308 N. Thompson St., reported a man who had been banned from the store trespassing on the property.
Wanting some Hamburger Helper and Spam is not a crime...but it should be. YAK!

8:13 a.m. - A woman at 2301 S. W. Second St. reported her husband causing problems.
Seriously? It's 8:00 in the morning, make him some corn flakes and coffee and send him on his way. Then, leave. If he's such a nuisence that you feel compelled to call the POLICE, leave him.

8:59 a.m. - A woman at 2301 S. W. Second St. reported her husband banging on the door and yelling.
Please note this report was made at the same address...45 minutes later. People are morons...

4:16 p.m. - A woman at 2002 S. W. Fir Ave. reported someone left a note in the information tube outside her house that is for sale.
What did it say? What did it say???

11: 37 p.m. - A woman at 5 Holly Drive reported someone keeps ringing the doorbell.
Don't you have a peep hole? It's probably a Jehovah's Witness. Just tell them you're Catholic, they'll go away directly...no questions.

11:17 p.m. - A woman at 402 Southpointe Ave. reported her ex-boyfriend violated a protective order by text-messaging her.
CHANGE…YOUR…PHONE…NUMBER. People are morons…

Friday, September 12, 2008

Be An Informed Voter

I friend of mine forwarded this to me. It's provocative and subjective. The author sounds fairly informed in state and local politics. I have deleted her name and replaced it with her initials...there are kooks out there. Also, I have looked up some of the facts she mentions and have found them to be accurate. I don't care for Sarah Palin in the least, but I believe everyone has the duty to be an informed voter. If this message moves you to find out more about Gov. Palin, then it's accomplished what I intended it to.

I'm reading a book right now, "Time Enough for Love" by Robert Heinlein, and it has a very interesting and relavant statement with regards to this particular issue: "If you are part of a society that votes, then do so. There may be no candidates or no measures you want to vote for...but there are certain to be ones you want to vote against."
I agree with this wholeheartedly. Be informed...

Dear Friends,

So many people have asked me about what I know about Sarah Palin in the last 2 days that I decided to write something up... Basically, Sarah Palin and Hillary Clinton have only 2 things in common: their gender and their good looks. You have my permission to forward this to your friends/email contacts with my name and email address attached, but please do not post it on any websites, as there are too many kooks out there...

Thanks,
AK

ABOUT SARAH PALIN

I am a resident of Wasilla, Alaska. I have known Sarah since 1992. Everyone here knows Sarah, so it is nothing special to say we are on a first-name basis. Our children have attended the same schools. Her father was my child's favorite substitute teacher. I also am on a first name basis with her parents and mother-in-law. I attended more City Council meetings during her administration than about 99% of the residents of the city.

She is enormously popular; in every way she's like the most popular girl in middle school. Even men who think she is a poor choice and won't vote for her can't quit smiling when talking about her because she is a "babe".

It is astonishing and almost scary how well she can keep a secret. She kept her most recent pregnancy a secret from her children and parents for seven months.

She is "pro-life". She recently gave birth to a Down's syndrome baby. There is no cover-up involved, here; Trig is her baby.

She is energetic and hardworking. She regularly worked out at the gym.

She is savvy. She doesn't take positions; she just "puts things out there" and if they prove to be popular, then she takes credit. Her husband works a union job on the North Slope for BP and is a champion snowmobile racer. Todd Palin's kind of job is highly sought-after because of the schedule and high pay. He arranges his work schedule so he can fish for salmon in Bristol Bay for a month or so in summer, but by no stretch of the imagination is fishing their major source of income. Nor has her life-style ever been anything like that of native Alaskans.

Sarah and her whole family are avid hunters.

She's smart.

Her experience is as mayor of a city with a population of about 5,000 (at the time), and less than 2 years as governor of a state with about 670,000 residents.

During her mayoral administration most of the actual work of running this small city was turned over to an administrator. She had been pushed to hire this administrator by party power-brokers after she had gotten herself into some trouble over precipitous firings which had given rise to a recall campaign.

Sarah campaigned in Wasilla as a "fiscal conservative". During her 6 years as Mayor, she increased general government expenditures by over 33%. During those same 6 years the amount of taxes collected by the City increased by 38%. This was during a period of low inflation (1996-2002). She reduced progressive property taxes and increased a regressive sales tax which taxed even food. The tax cuts that she promoted benefited large corporate property owners way more than they benefited residents.

The huge increases in tax revenues during her mayoral administration weren't enough to fund everything on her wish list though, borrowed money was needed, too. She inherited a city with zero debt, but left it with indebtedness of over $22 million. What did Mayor Palin encourage the voters to borrow money for? Was it the infrastructure that she said she supported? The sewage treatment plant that the city lacked? or a new library? No. $1m for a park. $15m-plus for construction of a multi-use sports complex which she rushed through to build on a piece of property that the City didn't even have clear title to, that was still in litigation 7 yrs later--to the delight of the lawyers involved! The sports complex itself is a nice addition to the community but a huge money pit, not the profit-generator she claimed it would be. She also supported bonds for $5.5m for road projects that could have been done in 5-7 yrs without any borrowing.

While Mayor, City Hall was extensively remodeled and her office redecorated more than once.

These are small numbers, but Wasilla is a very small city.

As an oil producer, the high price of oil has created a budget surplus in Alaska. Rather than invest this surplus in technology that will make us energy independent and increase efficiency, as Governor she proposed distribution of this surplus to every individual in the state. In this time of record state revenues and budget surpluses, she recommended that the state borrow/bond for road projects, even while she proposed distribution of surplus state revenues: spend today's surplus,borrow for needs.

She's not very tolerant of divergent opinions or open to outside ideas or compromise. As Mayor, she fought ideas that weren't generated by her or her staff. Ideas weren't evaluated on their merits, but on the basis of who proposed them.

While Sarah was Mayor of Wasilla she tried to fire our highly respected City Librarian because the Librarian refused to consider removing from the library some books that Sarah wanted removed. City residents rallied to the defense of the City Librarian and against Palin's attempt at out-and-out censorship, so Palin backed down and withdrew her termination letter. People who fought her attempt to oust the Librarian are on her enemies list to this day.

Sarah complained about the "old boy's club" when she first ran for Mayor, so what did she bring Wasilla? A new set of "old boys". Palin fired most of the experienced staff she inherited. At the City and as Governor she hired or elevated new, inexperienced, obscure people, creating a staff totally dependent on her for their jobs and eternally grateful and fiercely loyal--loyal to the point of abusing their power to further her personal agenda, as she has acknowledged happened in the case of pressuring the State's top cop (see below).

As Mayor, Sarah fired Wasilla's Police Chief because he "intimidated" her, she told the press. As Governor, her recent firing of Alaska's top cop has the ring of familiarity about it. He served at her pleasure and she had every legal right to fire him, but it's pretty clear that an important factor in her decision to fire him was because he wouldn't fire her sister's ex-husband, a State Trooper. Under investigation for abuse of power, she has had to admit that more than 2 dozen contacts were made between her staff and family to the person that she later fired,pressuring him to fire her ex-brother-in-law. She tried to replace the man she fired with a man who she knew had been reprimanded for sexual harassment; when this caused a public furor, she withdrew her support.

She has bitten the hand of every person who extended theirs to her in help. The City Council person who personally escorted her around town introducing her to voters when she first ran for Wasilla City Council became one of her first targets when she was later elected Mayor. She abruptly fired her loyal City Administrator; even people who didn't like the guy were stunned by this ruthlessness.

Fear of retribution has kept all of these people from saying anything publicly about her.

When then-Governor Murkowski was handing out political plums, Sarah got the best, Chair of the Alaska Oil and Gas Conservation Commission: one of the few jobs not in Juneau and one of the best paid. She had no background in oil & gas issues. Within months of scoring this great job which paid $122,400/yr, she was complaining in the press about the high salary. I was told that she hated that job: the commute, the structured hours, the work. Sarah became aware that a member of this Commission (who was also the State Chair of the Republican Party) engaged in unethical behavior on the job. In a gutsy move which some undoubtedly cautioned her could be political suicide, Sarah solved all her problems in one fell swoop: got out of the job she hated and garnered gobs of media attention as the patron saint of ethics and as a gutsy fighter against the "old boys' club" when she dramatically quit, exposing this man's ethics violations (for which he was fined).

As Mayor, she had her hand stuck out as far as anyone for pork from Senator Ted Stevens. Lately, she has castigated his pork-barrel politics and publicly humiliated him. She only opposed the "bridge to nowhere" after it became clear that it would be unwise not to.

As Governor, she gave the Legislature no direction and budget guidelines, then made a big grandstand display of line-item vetoing projects, calling them pork. Public outcry and further legislative action restored most of these projects--which had been vetoed simply because she was not aware of their importance--but with the unobservant she had gained a reputation as "anti-pork".

She is solidly Republican: no political maverick. The State party leaders hate her because she has bit them in the back and humiliated them. Other members of the party object to herself-description as a fiscal conservative.

Around Wasilla there are people who went to high school with Sarah. They call her "Sarah Barracuda" because of her unbridledambition and predatory ruthlessness. Before she became so powerful, very ugly stories circulated around town about shenanigans she pulled to be made point guard on the high school basketball team.

When Sarah's mother-in-law, a highly respected member of the community and experienced manager, ran for Mayor, Sarah refused to endorse her.

As Governor, she stepped outside of the box and put together of package of legislation known as "AGIA" that forced the oil companies to march to the beat of her drum.

Like most Alaskans, she favors drilling in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge. She has questioned if the loss of sea ice is linked to global warming. She campaigned "as a private citizen" against a state initiaitive that would have either a) protected salmon streams from pollution from mines, or b) tied up in the courts all mining in the state (depending on who you listen to). She has pushed the State's lawsuit against the Dept. of the Interior's decision to list polar bears as threatened species.

McCain is the oldest person to ever run for President; Sarah will be a heartbeat away from being President. There has to be literally millions of Americans who are more knowledgeable and experienced than she. However, there's a lot of people who have underestimated her and are regretting it.


CLAIM V. FACT

Hockey mom: true, for a few years

PTA mom: true, years ago when her first-born was in elementary school, not since

NRA supporter: absolutely true

Social conservative: mixed. Opposes gay marriage, BUT vetoed a bill that would have denied benefits to employees in same-sex relationships (said she did this because it was unconsitutional).

Pro-creationism: mixed. Supports it, BUT did nothing as Governor to promote it.

Pro-life: mixed. Knowingly gave birth to a Down's syndrome baby BUT declined to call a special legislative session on some pro-life legislation

Experienced: Some high schools have more students than Wasilla has residents. Many cities have more residents than the state of Alaska. No legislative experience other than City Council. Little hands-on supervisory or managerial experience; needed help of a city administrator to run town of about 5,000.

Political maverick: not at all

Gutsy: absolutely!

Open & transparent: ??? Good at keeping secrets. Not good at explaining actions.

Has a developed philosophy of public policy: no

A "Greenie": no. Turned Wasilla into a wasteland of big box stores and disconnected parking lots. Is pro-drilling off-shore and in ANWR.

Fiscal conservative: not by my definition!

Pro-infrastructure: No. Promoted a sports complex and park in a city without a sewage treatment plant or storm drainage system. Built streets to early 20th century standards.

Pro-tax relief: Lowered taxes for businesses, increased tax burden on residents

Pro-small government: No. Oversaw greatest expansion of city government in Wasilla's history.

Pro-labor/pro-union. No. Just because her husband works union doesn't make her pro-labor. I have seen nothing to support any claim that she is pro-labor/pro-union.

WHY AM I WRITING THIS?

First, I have long believed in the importance of being an informed voter. I am a voter registrar. For 10 years I put on student voting programs in the schools. If you google my name (intentionally deleted by me) you will find references to my participation in local government, education, and PTA/parent organizations.

Secondly, I've always operated in the belief that "Bad things happen when good people stay silent". Few people know as much as I do because few have gone to as many City Council meetings.

Third, I am just a housewife. I don't have a job she can bump Came out of. I don't belong to any organization that she can hurt. But, I am no fool; she is immensely popular here, and it is likely that this will cost me somehow in the future: that's life.
Fourth, she has hated me since back in 1996, when I was one of the 100 or so people who rallied to support the City Librarian against Sarah's attempt at censorship. Fifth, I looked around and
realized that everybody else was afraid to say anything because they were somehow vulnerable.

CAVEATS

I am not a statistician. I developed the numbers for the increase in spending & taxation 2 years ago (when Palin was running for Governor) from information supplied to me by the Finance Director of the City of Wasilla, and I can't recall exactly what I adjusted for: did I adjust for inflation? for population increases? Right now, it is impossible for a private person to get any info out of City Hall--they are swamped. So I can't verify my numbers.

You may have noticed that there are various numbers circulating for the population of Wasilla, ranging from my "about 5,000", up to 9,000. The day Palin's selection was announced a city official told me that the current population is about 7,000. The official 2000 census count was 5,460. I have used about 5,000 because Palin was Mayor from 1996 to 2002, and the city was growing rapidly in the mid-90's.

AK
Alaska

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Gone, but not forgotten...

A moment of silence please...September 11, 2001





Pig Sooie Update

The embarassing defeat that Texas was scheduled to endure this Saturday on their home field by my beloved Hogs has been postponed until September 27. Friggin sweet!! Not only was it going to be POURING rain in Austin this weekend, with gale-force winds from Hurricane Ike, but my sister wasn't going to be able to make it. Now, she can go and hopefully the weather won't suck! STOKED.
WOOOOO! PIG SOOIE! RAZORBACKS!

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Northwest Arkansas Crime Report

3:13 p.m. A woman on Candleglow Road, Gentry, reported an assault and theft of money.
Trick, I tol' you gimme my money!

7:44 p.m. A woman at 601 S. W. Pearl Drive reported someone crawled through her ceiling, threw toys on the floor and took bacon out of the refrigerator and left it on the counter.
Damn foster kids…that $200 a month isn't worth it.

10:23 a.m. A man at 902 N. E. Halifax Place reported a vehicle break-in and a college class ring and cell phone stolen.
NOT MY CLASS RING…NO! IT'S SPECIAL ORDER, ONE OF A KIND! PRICELESS!
**Not long after this was posted, the young man cut his mullet and shaved his molest-ache. He couldn't very well sport them without his class ring, could he? Shortly after that, he got laid. True story.**

12:37 p.m. A woman on Braithwaite Street reported her husband’s ex-wife told her children she was going to walk in front of a car.
Forgive me for saying this, but it's one less thing to worry about regarding the ready-made family you married into, isn't it?

2:27 p.m. A woman at 1600 N. E. John DeShields Blvd. reported an erratic driver at a construction site near the soccer fields.
This is Sam and Jen getting Paolo to the big game…you know it is. Freaks.

5:40 p.m. A man at 1959 Stanton reported a TV and computer stolen.
Great, now how is he going to watch porn and catch up on missed episodes of Gossip Girl and One Tree Hill?? Biffed!

5:57 p.m. A woman on West Walnut Street reported being harassed.
Tea Bag still making the day's collections…bitch, I tol' you gimme my money!!

7:12 p.m. A caller at Knight Time Tattoo, 1601 W. Walnut St., reported a disturbance.
A disturbance at the tattoo parlor? Seriously? Find the irony....

Old Habits Die Hard

I had a sort of epiphany last night. You see, I am a fairly outspoken individual, especially when it comes to matters that I am passionate about, i.e., my family, politics, morals, etc. However, in the 4 years I was with my ex-husband, I "trained" my mind and my heart to give in when I knew I couldn't win or even get very far. For example, if he and I were disagreeing or if I could see the slightest hint of frustration or confrontation with him, I would shut down and agree. This was very hard for me to do and it made my stomach knot up, because I'm naturally candid and in the past have had no problems expressing my displeasure or disagreement in another's conduct or point of view. But, he was incredibly manipulative and self-centered. The world and everyone in it revolved around him and if he didn't get his perfect way it wouldn't be a very good day for anyone. So, as it were, I forced myself to give-in whenever and wherever necessary to maintain peace in our home. Superficial peace, but peace nonetheless. I know habits are hard to break, but I was hoping to break this one fairly easily since it goes against my temperament. Well, I realized last night as I was talking to a friend of mine, a male friend mind you, that I still do this. At least I do with men, not so much or at all with women. I was so pissed at myself for allowing my ex-husband to control me and my mentality months after leaving him.

The incident was rather minor, but it irritated me that I couldn't control it when it happened. But, I did recognize it, so that's a good first step. I was talking to my friend about something insignificant and he says "Ok, I'm going to go now." He didn't realize he had cut me off, but I noticed it and I was irrationally irritated. Blame it on me not feeling well lately because of my allergies, or that I was tired, or simply wanted to chat a little longer. The reason behind a woman's temper is one even I can't answer sometimes, and this was one of those times. So, instead of telling him, "That's cool, let me finish this story/thought/sentence first," I simply shut down. Completely. He was confused, understandably, and confronted me regarding my sudden coolness towards him. As soon as it happened, I realized what I was doing, but it took him several minutes for him to get it out of me. I am very grateful he persisted because it made me look at myself and see my personality that I had mutated to fit someone else's idea of what I should have been. It was a defense mechanism to protect myself from feeling like I was worthless, which was how my ex-husband made me feel most of the time. Now that I realize that I'm still reverting back to my false personality, perhaps I can take steps to avoid the traits the made me someone I didn't like.

I am damaged, but not broken…

Monday, September 8, 2008

Should I go ahead and exhale?

I have these kick ass tickets to the Univ. of Arkansas v. Univ. of Texas game this Saturday in Austin. My new boss gave them to me, so of course I there's no way I would turn them down. My sister wanted to go with me, and I was totally down with it and completely stoked, until her mother-in-law decided this weekend was the absolute best weekend to come to Dallas and get her hair done...by my sister. Grrr. Don't bother asking if it was a good weekend or whether or not anyone had plans, just come on down. Sweet. You're awesome. (Note to self: Do NOT do this to your future kids, unless I want to torture them.)

So, now I have the aforementioned kick ass tickets and no one to go to the damn game with me. Seriously, I have never had a problem trying to find someone to go to a FOOTBALL game. Granted, I live 6 hours south of 99% of my friends and they have lives too (pshaw!), but this totally blows. The one awesome friend I've made in Dallas can't go because he has to work, which I understand (pshaw!).

If anyone is interested in going with me, I'm still going...albeit alone. Go HOGS.


Thursday, September 4, 2008

Natural Highs

A friend of mine sent this to me since I've been in a funk the last few days. It made me smile.

1. Falling in love.
2. Laughing so hard your face hurts.
3. A hot shower.
4. No lines at the supermarket.
5. A special glance.
6. Getting a letter in the mail.
7. Taking a drive on a country road.
8. Hearing your favorite song on the radio.
9. Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.
10. Hot towels fresh out of the dryer.
11. Chocolate milkshake (vanilla or strawberry ).
12. A bubble bath.
13. Giggling.
14. A good conversation.
15. The beach.
16. Finding a $20 in your coat from last winter.
17. Laughing at yourself.
18. Looking into their eyes and knowing they love you.
19. Midnight phone calls that last for hours.
20. Running through sprinklers.
21. Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.
22. Having someone tell you that you're beautiful.
23. Laughing at an inside joke with friends.
24. Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you.
25. Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep.
26. Your first kiss with someone new.
27. Making new friends or spending time with old ones.
28. Playing with a new puppy.
29. Having someone play with your hair.
30. Sweet dreams.
31. Hot chocolate.
32. Road trips with friends.
33. Swinging on swings.
34. Making eye contact with a cute stranger.
35. Making chocolate chip cookies.
36. Having your friends send you homemade cookies.
37. Holding hands with someone you care about.
38. Running into an old friend and realizing that some things (good or bad) never change.
39. Watching the expression on someone's face as they open a much desired present from you.
40. Watching the sunset.
41. Getting out of bed every morning and being grateful for another beautiful day.
42. Knowing that somebody misses you.
43. Getting a hug from someone you care about deeply.
44. Knowing you've done the right thing, no matter what other people think.

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

No glove, no love...

I heard on the news this morning that Gov. Sarah Palin's, the next potential vice-president (Lord, help us if that comes to fruition), daughter, 17-year-old Bristol, is KNOCKED UP. Wow. And, has been for 5 months. Really, how does a severe right-wing conservative Evangelical Christian folk hero have a 17-year-old pregnant daughter? My theory is she told her daughter to abstain from sex instead of showing her how to be safe about sex. I agree that teenagers should not have sex. Been there, done that and it wasn't that great. I think most of us can agree on that. But, to actually delude yourself into thinking that teens with raging hormones (you remember, I know you do) aren't going to have sex simply because you tell them not to is utterly naive and, quite frankly, really stupid. Maybe if little Bristol would have been more educated about sex, or perhaps been on BC, she wouldn't be a teen mom. All I can say is good luck, you will need it, sister.

Friday, August 29, 2008

Barack the Vote

I don't know how many of you caught Barack Obama's acceptance speech last night at the DNC, but if you missed it, you missed out. It was a perfectly crafted address that touched on every important issue of the upcoming election. If you didn't know where Obama stood before last night, listen to his 45 minute speech and you will. And, if his words don't move you to want to make a difference in our country, check your pulse.

He spoke on everything from healthcare reform and the Iraq War to gay marriage and abortion. A few highlights of his viewpoints and his promises to America include: cutting taxes for 95% of the middle-class, while taking away tax cuts for corporations that send jobs oversees; cutting capital gains taxes for small businesses and start-up business; ending our dependence on foreign oil in 10 years and tapping into our natural gas reserves, investing in technology for clean-burning coal and renewable energy, and the safe use of nuclear power; investing in early childhood education, raising teachers' salaries, and in exchange, asking for higher standards and more accountability; ensuring healthcare for all Americans is available and affordable, including lowering premiums for those with health insurance and giving the same quality healthcare that Congress has given to itself; getting our troops out of Iraq in a timely and safe manner; realizing that gun ownership means different things to different Americans, but keeping AK-47's out of the hands of criminals should be able to be accomplished without trampling the Second Amendment; believing that gays and lesbians should have the same rights as a heterosexual couple, free from discrimination; equal pay for men and women; giving women the option of a right to choose.

I have to say, I agree with 99% of his points of view. I think he is the most promising candidate we've had for the Democratic Party since Clinton.

He took some hard jabs a John McCain too:

"John McCain has voted with George Bush 90% of the time. Senator McCain likes to talk about judgment, but really, what does it say about your judgment when you think George Bush has been right more than 90% of the time? I don't know about you, but I'm not ready to take a 10% chance on change."

…John McCain said we could just "muddle through" in Afghanistan, I argued for more resources and more troops to finish the fight against the terrorists who actually attacked us on 9/11, and made clear that we must take out Osama bin Laden and his lieutenants if we have them in our sights. John McCain likes to say that he'll follow bin Laden to the gates of hell - but he won't even go to the cave where he lives."

…Now, I don't believe that Senator McCain doesn't care what's going on in the lives of Americans. I just think he doesn't know. Why else would he define middle class as someone making under $5 million a year? How else could he propose hundreds of billions in tax breaks for big corporations and oil companies but not one penny of tax relief to more than 100 million Americans? How else could he offer a healthcare plan that would actually tax people's benefits, or an education plan that would do nothing to help families pay for college, or a plan that would privatize social security and gamble your retirement?

It's not because John McCain doesn't care. It's because John McCain doesn't get it."


Thursday, August 28, 2008

Speedtables and You

I was recently informed by a pal of mine in Fayetteville that residents in my former hometown are about to face the daunting task of choosing from SIX mayoral candidates this November. Sweet. So, since I'm not up on my local politics in NWA, I scoured the local paper for a really good article addressing just how wholly-qualified these candidates are for such a prestigious office. This is just a juicy tidbit of your selections, not all six are listed here. You sure are lucky, Fayetteville. I'm ├╝ber-jealous.

Excerpt from Northwest Arkansas Times column "GRIDLOCK GURU: Speed table question for candidates", dated July 11, 2008

"Question [to the Guru]: “I have been sacrificing vehicle, body and cargo to stupid speed tables. Who authorized them? Were they voted on by the City Council and, if so, what was the meeting date? Have any of the candidates for mayor taken a position on the tables?”

I can absolutely attest to the absurdity of the speed table issue in Fayetteville. Luckily, the roves of Hell's Angels on their Harley's rolling through Wilson Park looking for live young to devour are no longer a nuisance...thank you Mayor Coody, for keeping our children safe.

Answer: The Guru pored over a 230-page traffic and transportation study approved by the Fayetteville City Council on Dec. 16, 2003. It mentioned speed tables as a way to slow drivers on residential streets. The consultant who did the study later developed a city traffic calming policy, and the first speed table was plopped on Fieldstone Avenue in 2005. Now, Fayetteville has 50 speed tables.

At residents’ requests, a traffic-calming committee evaluates which streets need speed tables. The committee reviews speed, accidents, traffic volumes, sidewalk locations and the proximity of school crosswalks to decide which streets get tables.

And, who is on this so-called traffic-calming committee? A stay-at-home mom with 5 kids ranging in age from 6 months to 5 years, that has nothing better to do than make everyone else accommodate her, every retiree within a 20-block radius of the epicenter of downtown, the Bridge club (after their monthly meeting at Mermaids…priorities), and Bill Underwood.

Of course, a traffic-calming committee is always at the pinnacle of what the community really, really needs. This year's candidates should not exclude other possible committees, such as the trashcan-too-close-to-the-street committee, pedestrians-yielding-to-other-pedestrians-on-the-left-instead-of-the-right-side-of-the-sidewalk committee or curb-your-pet-or-I'll-sic-my-pit bull-on-it committee. All viable and important issues.

Mayor candidates Steve Clark and Lioneld Jordan said they like speed tables. Jordan offers one caveat: He dislikes speed tables that force drivers to dip below the speed limit to cross them without being jarred.

Is the City going to pay for the new shocks I'll be putting on my car every 6 weeks because of the f***ing speed tables? Oh, you're broke…right, I forgot. Oh, you're raising the sales tax again…oh yeah, that's a good idea. Wait, we may need to form a committee…the how-much-can-the-city-break-it-off-in-me committee…catchy.

Candidate Walt Eilers said he worries because fire trucks and police cars must slow to cross speed tables. “We need to rethink speed tables through the Council of Neighborhoods — their impact as a speed moderator or merely a nuisance,” Eilers writes.

This is a legitimate argument. I've often wondered about this very thing. One point for Walt…you came screaming to the top like a bullet. I have nothing to say about his point of view…strange, I know.

Adam Fire Cat, the real name of a mayoral candidate, said he won’t oppose speed tables in neighborhoods although he dislikes them. “If they can all agree, it’s fine,” Cat said. “I understand their purpose, but I think they are annoying.”

Dude, I would vote for you on sheer name alone. Not really, but rock the name. I'm glad Fire Cat knows the purpose of a SPEED TABLE. You have all the makings of an electable candidate. Utterly pointless ideas. And, you seem like a riding-the-fence kind of guy. Not for them or against them. You're the "go ask your mother" kind of dad. I have a feeling you're probably still asking yourself if a dime bag will be enough for a 3-day weekend. Next.

Mayor Dan Coody, who announced Thursday that he will seek a third term, thinks speed tables are a good idea, but the city has too many. “Any good thing can be overdone and this is an example of it,” he said.

Are you kidding me, Dan? You approved every one of those damned speed tables in their respectively-annoying locations. Stop the posturing and stand the f*** up. Dude, I would vote for Fire Cat before I'd cast another one in your direction. Your derisory handling of the $60 million cost overrun sewer project should have been the nail in your political coffin. NEXT.

Let's form a committee on term limits…seriously. *sigh*

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Excerpts from Hillary Clinton's Address

Giving party members the business:

"Whether you voted for me, or voted for Barack, the time is now to unite as a single party with a single purpose. We are on the same team, and none of us can sit on the sidelines. … I haven’t spent the past 35 years in the trenches advocating for children, campaigning for universal health care, helping parents balance work and family, and fighting for women’s rights at home and around the world … to see another Republican in the White House squander the promise of our country and the hopes of our people."

"Before we can keep going, we have to get going by electing Barack Obama president. We don’t have a moment to lose or a vote to spare. Nothing less than the fate of our nation and the future of our children hang in the balance."

Democratic National Convention: Part II

Michelle Obama's speech Monday night should have been one of inspiration, but the only thing she really inspired me to do was wonder what the hell her point was, other than she loves her husband. Duh. This is not about you, it's about Barack. I am a full supporter of Barack Obama and I think Michelle is a force to be reckoned with, but come on with the "I love my husband, I love my country." You're supposed to love your husband and your country, especially if your beloved husband is running for the most powerful office in the free world. I thought her speech was generic and boring. I found myself drifting away thinking about what was going to wear the next day or how many days I had before I had to do laundry again. Not very riveting.


Hillary Clinton's speech last night, on the other hand, was phenomenal. I think she hit this one way out of the park. I was a stanch supporter of Hillary's during the first months leading up to the primary, but as time wore on her campaign began a negative downturn that turned me way off. I don't like negative campaigns at all. I think they're pointless and steer the people on the wrong direction. While Barack's campaign absolutely responded to the negativity, I don't think they ever initiated it. Notwithstanding the past rivalry of Barack and Hillary, her message was clear last night: Unite the Party. And, to make certain that McCain is not the next King George..."No way, no how, no McCain!" She friggin nailed it! Behind the scenes, the Obama/Hillary camps may not get along as well as they may want the rest of us to believe, but her sincerity to unite the party and get behind Barack was clear. I believe Hillary will be back in 2012, guns blazing. Bring it, sisterhood of the traveling pantsuits!

Monday, August 25, 2008

Democratic National Convention: Part I

To those of you that don't know me very well, I love politics. I love the sport, the commentary, the rivalries, the debates and the absolute absurdity of the posturing and spectacle. None of which compare to the National Convention held every 4 years about 9-10 weeks prior to a presidential election. I, for one, am a registered Democrat. There were few of us left in Arkansas when I lived there, and I suspect even fewer live in Texas. When I moved to Texas and registered to vote, I thought of registering Independent, but alas I held true to my Democratic point of view and checked the box. Yes, I have not gotten a Texas driver's license, Texas car registration, or a permenant Texas address, but, dammit, I can vote here! I think me and a couple of other people are the only ones that actually voted for Obama in the Arkansas Primaries. Anyway, I'm getting off subject, our convention starts tonight and runs through Thursday. Sweet. I plan on having my TV affixed to CNN for the duration of this evening's events and then listen to the talking heads about their predictions/criticisms. Oh, how I wish NPR were on TV sometimes. That kind of liberal media bias is just my cup of tea. I know, I shouldn't be 28…more like 48. I am constantly mocked by my nearest and dearest for keeping my radio in my car tuned to NPR about 95% of the time. I'm a big nerd, I get it. But, this kind of revelry held for one of the nation's most powerful political figures, and possibly the next POTUS, intrigues me to no end.

Tonight promises to be quite an event, with a lineup of speakers ranging from Margie Perez, a New Orleans jazz singer, to Michelle Obama (whom I love), the keynote speaker for tonight's convention. Tomorrow night, Hillary Clinton is the primetime speaker and I am looking forward to her remarks, but I sometimes feel she doesn't have a clear message and you can't really tell unless you're listening intently. This is what makes her an excellent politician. Play both sides without anyone noticing.

Also, I must say that I think Joe Biden was an excellent pick to be Obama's VP. I really liked Biden before he dropped out for a less than stellar showing in the primaries, but I think his strong background in foreign relations and his years of experience will only help Obama reach the undecideds because of Obama's lack of experience on foreign issues. However, Obama's message is change and Biden has been a heavy hitter in Washington for many years. This may undercut his message. At any rate, it's a good match overall.

Stay tuned.

Monday, August 18, 2008

Instant gratification does not exist within me...

I am a victim of instant gratification syndrome. I hate hate hate waiting. I am nortoriously impatient with anyone except small children, and even they should know better sometimes. So, as it were, my patience is being tested every moment I am traveling in this city. I live about 11 miles from the train station, wherein I get on the train for 40 minutes to go downtown to my office. Meaning, I have to leave the house at like 7:15-7:30 to make it to work on time at 9:00. The ride downtown on the train is not so bad. I sit there, sip my Starbuck's, read the paper or my book and just chill. It's actually starting to grow on me a little...but not much and very slowly. However, driving to said train station at 7:30 in the morning is BRUTAL. It's ELEVEN MILES and it takes 30 minutes! Are you friggin kidding me with this sh**!?!? Get your tired, mascara-applying, greasy sausage biscuit-eating, cell phone-chatting, no driving a** off the effing highway! I would probably have better luck taking the access roads as oppossed to 75 S, but this idea makes me a little uneasy. You just never know which route will take longer.

So, after 4 days of raising my chances tenfold of having a heart attack at the ripe old age 28, I decided to drive to work. Bad idea. I left at 7:30 and arrive in the parking lot about a block from my office at 8:45! UGH! By the way, it's about 30 miles or so...yeah. Of course, this was no ordinary day. It was raining off and on all the way to work. I was traveling down 75 S and I've heard that Texans can't really drive in the rain. This is oh so very true. Foolishly, I thought the gods smiled on me for a brief moment, but in reality it was a nasty trick. As I get out of my car and start digging in my enormous bag for some cash to feed into the City of Dallas' pocketbook ($7 per day for parking...sh**), it starts DOWNPOURING. CRAP! My perfectly coifed hair, super sheek new blouse and incredibly unforgiving shoes are going to be ruined for the day. Perfect. I dig my umbrella out of my bag and save about 70% of my hair. "I sure hope I remembered a hair tie...sh**," I say to myself. The bottom 6 inches of my jeans were soaked and my shoes were just sad....I don't have anything more to say about the state of my poor Nine West clearance sale purchase...it was a sad day for my beloveds. I slosh into my office and some a-hole has jacked the air conditioner down to a frigid -12 degrees. Thanks. So, now I'm pissed off about the unruly traffic and it taking me nearly an hour and a half to get 30 miles, my hair is ruined, my shoes and jeans are dripping wet, and now I'm cold. Frick!

LUCKILY, for everyone that was around me that morning/afternoon, it was Friday. I do better on Friday's, as I suspect most do. And, I got invited to have a beer after work, which was just what I needed after a day like that. For the cherry-topper, I was impatiently awaiting the arrival of Kim, my BFF from Arkansas, to come visit me during her vacation.

Of course, Kim arrived in due time late Friday night and the happy hour beers I had were exactly what I needed to take the edge off my day.

I did a lot of cursing that day...welcome to Texas.

Thursday, June 5, 2008

Monday, April 14, 2008

Second chances

I used to blog nearly every week with my thought-provoking diatribes about the inner termoil of an early 20-something living in a college town in the South. Still in my 20's, just barely, I have gone back and reviewed some of my entries and found the early 20's me is dying, ever so enigmatically, and this makes me a little sad.

Please do not misinterpret, I am happily married with a dog and three small stepchildren, whom I adore profoundly. I am not complaining about my station in life, I am merely reflecting on my past life. I used to go out nightly and drink like a fish. I had a "real" job as a receptionist at a law firm, so I was pseudo-responsible, but thankfully the firm I worked for at the time was very small and the phone rang about 10 times a day. At 5:02 I would meet my girlfriends down at the bar (we affectionately called it the mothership) and we would commence drinking $2 domestic draws until at least midnight. I would wake up the next morning, slightly hungover but no worse for wear, and go to work to do it all over the next day. I bet we would qualify as binge drinkers and/or functional alcoholics. It was great fun and I miss the conversation and comradery of those days.

Recently, I went out with the same group of girls I had back then. It was the same and different all at once. It was a little surreal while at the same time being incredibly comfortable. Like an old friend coming to a new home. We had a good time and I didn't get home until late. The difference is now I cannot have that many beers in one sitting and still expect to be functional the next day? Hell no. And, strangely, I'm ok with that.

Were the good 'ol days as good as we thought....really? Yes, they were, but there are still good 'ol days to be had.