Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Tuck Fexas: Part Deux

I went to the DMV again today, birth certificate in hand. I was on a mission. Upon arrival, I stood in the same line as the rest of the other people that had better things to do than stand in that line. I get to the front, finally, and the woman asks me, "Do you have your birth certificate?"

"Yes!", I said triumphantly.

She gathered all my paperwork then stopped short. "What's the matter?", I said, feeling my cheeks flush. She said, "Your Arkansas license expired on Monday." I said "Ok, that was only day before yesterday and you were closed yesterday. Is there a penalty for it being expired? I can pay it if there is." She said, "No, there's no penalty, but you're going to have to take the WRITTEN AND DRIVING EXAM. Here is a list of offices that you can call and get an appointment with to take the tests. Oh, and here's a manual. Study, study. NEXT."

Stunned doesn't begin to describe what I was feeling. I wanted to choke a bitch, but I maintained. I stared at her blankly. My voice left me. I took the paperwork and staggered out of the office in a haze of bewilderment. Did she just tell me that I have to take a driving test? For real?

I come to as I'm walking back to my office and getting thoroughly pissed off that I have to take a driving test because my license expired 2 days ago. I haven't taken a driving test in 13 years. Frick.

I can fix this.

I get online when I get back to my office. Ah ha! I can get my Arkansas license renewed when I go to Dad's for Thanksgiving. I'll have to pay a small penalty, but that's ok, totally worth not having to take a driving test. I called the Nashville area motor vehicle office. Closed the day after Thanksgiving. Well, I'll just take the Wednesday off before Thanksgiving and get it done. No big deal.

I keep scrolling through their website. Bingo. If you work/go to school out of state, you can renew your Arkansas license BY MAIL. YES! I email the director of the "by mail" department. I was totally honest and said my license expired 2 days ago, I worked in Texas and I didn't know when I would be back in Arkansas. She said I could do it by mail. She FedEx'ing me a packet to my office to fill out and send back. All she needs is a $20 check and a vision card filled out by a physician (hello, Wal-Mart vision center). Two-day turn around.

Eat it, Texas.


Quattro Stelle said...

Are you sure it wouldn't be easier just to take the freaking test?

Azura said...

No way, dude. You'd just take it to show you can pass it. Can't fool me.