Friday, November 7, 2008

Tuck Fexas

I set out to get my Texas driver's license today. I decided to schlep the 4 and a half blocks from my office to the City of Dallas building. It was a lovely afternoon for a walk, but my feet began to hurt about Neimen Marcus in my unforgiving heels on the Ervay Street sidewalks. I made it though. I'm a trooper.

Upon arrival, I stood in line for about 15 minutes, all the while looking around for any postings that list the requirements to obtain a driver's license in the Lone Star State. There were none. Surprise. However, I thought I was safe with nearly 10 pieces of identification tucked in my "Texas Driver's License" file folder (shut up). I had with me the following documents as proof of my identity (Plus, I'm a white girl with pasty white skin and a Southern accent. Seriously, I'm from here):

Arkansas driver's license
Social Security card
Marriage License
Decree of Divorce
Student ID from UA and JBU
Military Dependent ID (obselete, but it still had my name, photo, DOB and SSN on it)
Texas Vehicle Registration (obtained yesterday without incident)
Texas Voter ID Card (obtained months ago without incident)
Proof of Insurance

Unimpressed with my organization, the driver's license overseer looked at me and said, "I'm going to need your birth certificate or passport to process this request." I looked like a deer in headlights. I said, "But I have all of these documents. Surely a combination of all these will be sufficient. Look, I have a valid out-of-state driver's license and a military ID!"

Passively, she said, "I'm going to need your birth certificate or passport to process this request. NEXT."

Texas.

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